Type of Relationship: Marriage
Status: Over it & Thriving!!!
When I was 31, I fell unexpectedly and madly in love with him. It was a whirlwind romance and after 6 months he wanted me to move in with him. I resisted – it would have required me to change my whole life to suit his life. He had a young son from a previous marriage and was unable to move between us, so I had to do the moving. After 3 years, I finally moved in with him and his son, who was with us part-time.
I was devoted and in love. Although we had our issues, the sex was good and our life was on it’s way. About 6 years into the relationship, we decided to celebrate our commitment with a marriage-style commitment ceremony. We wrote our vows and I asked that he do only one thing for me – promise to tell me if he ever fell in love with someone else. I promised that if I ever had to let him go, I would do so with love. I just never thought it would actually happen.
One day, to my horror, I found out that he was corresponding with a 17-year old foreign girl he had met on a trip! I was devastated. He was 53 at the time. I was 42. I found emails where he told her to go to the consulate and get her papers to leave. There were notes of what they would name their children and all. I just couldn’t believe it. I finally confronted him and told him if he left to see her again that he would be doing so for good. He didn’t leave.
Days later I told him to go to her. I felt it was the only way to have the younger-woman spell broken. He got on a plane and left to be with her for 2 weeks. I was a mess. I didn’t eat or sleep and felt like my life was over.
He came home to explain that she was too young and only wanted his money. I thought, okay, he has seen the light. So we went on with our lives and planned a summer vacation, but things were rocky. I remember so clearly that one day after a hike to a beautiful lake, he asked me to take his picture. I grabbed the camera and looked at him and said “I’m not your girl am I?” He replied in a stark, honest moment, “No.”
I knew it was over. I walked behind him back to camp and felt about as lonely as one could ever feel.
Two days later I discovered another email where he told her he was coming soon to marry her. I confronted him and said, ” If you love her go”. He went home and I flew to a friend’s house in another state. The morning I left to fly away I stopped him and looked at him in the face and told him that “I always loved him and that he would never see me again.”
I never did. He flew to our home, packed his things, and flew to her and married her. I came home to a gutted house and a small check for rent and stuff. I thought I would die.
I was left with our home (that I paid for). Him and his son, whom I cared for for 8 years, were simply gone. I laid on the couch in tears for 2 solid months. I lost 30 pounds. I was devastated. I finally got myself up and got a job – I had to. But every day at lunch I would leave to go cry. There was no day or night I didn’t end up in tears. I finally had to sell the house. I was 42 years old. Honestly, I thought I would just die of grief.
What I have to say now is that I am over it! It’s behind me and has been for about a year. I cannot believe I can say this, but it’s true. He is still married to the girl and has a young son with her. I hear about them from folks I run into on occassion and I can say, “I hope he’s happy.”
I hope something came from the blowing up of our lives. I am well. I have moved, date a lot, look better than I ever did and have gotten on with it. So, if anyone thinks they won’t survive or that they are too old to get back out there I say STOP IT! It’s not true. I lost a husband, a son, a house, my job -my life, and I survived. I am not stronger than anyone else – it’s just that time got me out of it. I hope this helps you all see there is life after your ex – I promise. Just put one foot in front of the other every day. Just take one day at a time.
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Wow – I’m amazed that you recovered from this. It gives me hope. I’m sure it gives a lot of people hope. Thank you.
thank you so much for sharing your story.
Inspiring! You are one of the best examples to present strength and courage. It helps me a lot by reading your story. Thank you.
I can’t believe that you had to go through all of that crap. I don’t wish your ex happiness at all. All I can say is Karma is a bitch and God is a good Book keeper. Best of luck to you. As far as your ex, he’s a worthless human being.
Thank you so much for your story. It was an inspiration.
Dear Amelie Thank you for such an inspiring story. I honestly dont know how you did it. I am 8 months into my mess and i still cry at night. The pain is paralyzing. Your story gives me hope that i can finally be like you one day. Thank you, and god bless you my dear.
Amelie, thank you, thank you, thank you… you have given me hope. I have been putting one foot in front of the other, but it is slow going. I can’t wait to run again.
you have long been gone from the valley and now your on your peak…it’s inspiring….
Wow thank you for your story i am sure it gives all of us hope.If i can see myself at this point someday it gives me something to strive for everyday.I feel like i am crawling and just slightly learning to walk at this point so eventually i can put one foot in front of the other and reclaim my independence.Thank you and take care
Thank you for sharing your story. That’s truly inspiring. I’m going thru my first break up, of the first guy i ever truly loved, and Im struggling. Memories jus get the best of me at times. But your story is truly inspirational. I Hope one day I can look at it all, smile, and move on without feeling the pain of it all.
He left for good yesterday… I cried in every room of the house–too many memories after two decades… He moved 2 hours away and will soon be joined by a woman 25 years his junior… I finally knew I wasn’t his girl anymore when I overheard him talking to her in the same tender way that used to be only for me. We both played our part in the problems but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. He can rebuild his life with new materials but I am left picking up the shattered bits and trying to make something usable out of it. There is nothing left for me now.
I was married to my husband for a year we’ve been together for 3 years have a child together. When we got back from Iraq I thought this is it I get a chance at happiness again. Before we left for Iraq I had broken up with him because I caught him with another woman he said he was sorry and that it was a mistake. Two months later I took him back thinking that he might’ve changed especially since we have a daughter together. Two months after that we deployed for 15 months in separate locations. That year since things were going good we got married. When we got back from Iraq he had wanted to spend more time with friends and play basketball. Sure I gave him a hard time thinking that we needed time together as a family. I suddenly had suspicions with him and this girl he worked with. We would argue about it and the more we argued the more he became distant from me. After more suspicions I kicked him out of the house. Let’s just say I was right. He is with this girl right now and has gotten her pregnant we’re not even legally separated yet. I feel like my whole world has been taken from me. I know I did the right thing by following my gut and kicking him out when I did. Thinking about starting a support group for females in my same situation. It is so hard to have a stable marriage in the military. Now I am a single mom……. why do good things happen to good people?
Wow…you’ve just described what I’m going through in a nutshell. Am very depressed right now and it’s taking everything in me to just get up in the morning. The relationship I was in was very toxic but it still hurts to let go.
2 months ago my gf of 5 years broke up with me. it’s been the hardest 2 months of my life. I’ve been through this before but i’ve never felt this sad and lonely. I moved to another city away from my family and friends to be with her. now i am left in a city with just one or two people i can talk to and i feel like i’ve lost everything. worst part is she is happy now and dating someone else (they met only days after the split). I put everything i had into this relationship, never cheated or lied, always made her feel special and worked really hard to give us a good life. in the end she through work in my face as an excuse and said i can’t handle it.
i tell myself that i’m better off, and i probably am, but it seems like she’s the one that’s better off considering she is happy/out having fun with new people and i’m devastated. i go out and put on a front that all is well but it hurts so bad when i go home alone.
i think ur story is very inspiring to know that you got past such a terrible breakup. i too lost about 30 lbs., i look my best in years, but it doesn’t seem to make me feel better. I’ve done no contact since the day we broke up. she has texted me a few times to ask for her things back and see how i am but i’m not responding.
is there anything you can recommend to ease the pain other than just time?
for a complete ressurection from a bad breakup/ relationship it takes half the time that you were with them. time is the only real healer.
could it be rosis that she didn’t just meet this guy right after you guys broke up. sounds like she might’ve been seeing him while you guys were together and that has ignited her to end things with you.
seems like you are much better off she seems full of herself. why dont you take this time to focus on you? i once was married and had to change my home of residence from hawaii to new york; when things ended i only had the little friends i met in the city other than that i felt i had lost everything. but through time support friendship (maybe even therapy) i got back on my feet and found happiness within myself.
you’re absolutely right in ignoring her calls and texts. it would just set you back. if she has her stuff there you can always mail it to her or have a mutual friend bring it to her.
I suppose anything is possible JRabbit, but I’m pretty sure I know when and how they met. Not that it’s important now, although I must say it seems to be all I can think about lately. It’s difficult to stop obsessive thoughts and i’m becoming distracted at work.
I think focusing on myself has been something that I’ve basically forgotten how to do because of this relationship. I have been trying to focus on myself more lately and i’ve made some gradual steps. I appreciate your advice and will def. not call/text. That much I know I can do – it is not productive and it only hurts to hear how her voice changed the day we broke up. What’s sad is that she hasn’t called once since the breakup, so I know that this is really something she’s had no second thoughts about. Anyway – thanks for your response.
Rosis everything will be alright I know times are hard right now. Ever thought about seeing a therapist? They’re real helpful they can give you tips on how to build your self esteem and find yourself again. I’m pretty much going through a hard HARD breakup that involves absolute betrayal and humiliation what’s worst is that the person he had cheated on me with we ALL work in the same area so I have to see them on a constant basis. Well I only have two weeks left then she leaves. Everyone thinks that once she’s gone he is going to come after me to try and work things out the first thing I’m going to say is “Go to Hell!” When you experience such heartaches you’re like “why did this happen to me?” sometimes God works in mysterious ways this could be his way of saying “I have someone better for you out there just let this one GO”
so she never cheated on you?
Not to my knowledge but i guess you never really know. The events in the past few months kinda make me doubt everything. I’ve thought about seeing a therapist, and I might do that. Just trying to get through each day and find some positive things to appreciate in my life.
I’m real sorry to hear about your situation as well. Sounds like she is the one losing in this situation. Perhaps these things happen because these people were never right for us to begin with…
This story moved me. I’m undergoing the same type of love crisis. I have a live-in partner too and we’ve been together for 11 years now. He’s been cheating on me for a while now and I just can’t take it anymore. I want to move on…your story gives me hope.
pinay are you filipina? well if he is cheating on you i hope you left him
you all seem like strong people,thats good, but how and what do i say to my sister who is trying to get through this but never got closure, he never broke up with her, just quit calling, and she tries to move on by dating, but she feels wrong, like what if…ect, but im sure he moved on, and she feels that too, but she still hurts to bad, and cries every single day, it worries me, its only been 3 months since her heart break and i try to cheer her up, but i wanna cry with her, i know how sad she is.. and without that door closed what now????
debbi if your sister absolutely needs closure then find this guy and follow him i’m sure somewhere you’re going to see him with another woman. or hire an investigator if you dont want to go through it. afterwards i would make an appointment for her to see a therapist. they help by unraveling some of your inner issues as well as outter. if she is still crying after three months she needs to get control of her life and make things happen. no toxic man is worth these tears i’m sure there’s a logical explanation as to why he stopped calling most likely he was too much of a coward to break up with her face to face. maybe he is seeing someone else and wants to know where it will go but still wants an opportunity to have your sister just in case it doesn’t work out. some people are just evil like that. i trust no one. that way you dont leave room for heartaches. (for right now in my life anyway)
I taste Spain. I smell Mexico. I feel his arm around me and we walk.
And we walk.
And we walk.
I wake up and I’m alone and it’s what he wants and I’m crying but it doesn’t do me any good.
I don’t have wanderlust. I don’t feel the need to branch out and meet others, I don’t want to experience the feel of a new body. I know all too well that almost all people are not worth my time.
thankyou jrabbit, i know she needs to see a therapist,and she did a couple times, she gave up,maybe she will find closure on her own, well,she will eventually have to, and its true, it would help if she got a grip of her life, she even says all that,so i figure she will go on with life, and he is not worth her tears,i talked with her this morning and she acually sounds better, so hopfully we will see, thanks again
now I know why they are inspirational stories! I know we will all get through are heart break. I am so grateful to have come across this site.
yes it is good to know that you are not alone and that no matter how hard life can get there are others who’ve had it harder and have made it through.
Hello,
I also wanted to share my story for those that are going through the same thing as i am. Just about three weeks ago my bf and i broke up after 5 years of been together. We were practically married to each other. It has been the most 3 painful weeks of my life. I know exactly how all of you feel and its so great for others to know that you are not alone.
I miss my bf terribly but our relationship was going nowhere. I wanted to marry him so bad but he had other plans. He is now attending Law school somewhere out in the midwest and i am here in NY. I miss him every night and sometimes i do wish he was here. Sometimes we immersed ourselves in a relationship and we leave who we are aside. We tend to leave our identity behind and just accustom ourselves to the circumstances thrown at us, this is when you need to take your time to find yourself. Believe me is not easy but the simple truth is if he loves you he will come back if not you have been saved from a tragic ending.
But throughout all this pain and confusion if someone says they love you and care for you they will show it. I keep believing what is meant to be will happen no matter the distance or the troubles but what’s not meant to happen it wont. My heart goes out for those that cry at night because i am going through that grieving process, everything reminds me of him. We were supposed to get married and all of our friend knew. I feel like i have lost my bf but most of all my best friend whom i met when i was only 14. Its not impossible to feel happy and to smile. I try doing it everyday. Life is amazing you just have to open your eyes and feel it. Thank you for those that have open their hearts. Hope to hear from you!
U r amazing..the part where he said you werent his love,,, I have been there…it is devastating..I spent so much time trying to convince this girl that I was the one and it simply wasnt true!!! I wasnt the one for her but it took me so long to let go and to be honest I am still trying to get over it..Thank u for your story..
Dear Dawn
I read your column. How are you coping ? I am finally finding some peace. I have good days and i have bad days, sometimes i feel i’m ahead, but sometimes the clock is set back to zero. I hope you’re getting there. I feel your pain because it brings back memories of mine. Love yourself Dawn and God bless always. liza
JRabbit, i like your comments. You care. Wish there were more people like you around. God Bless. liza
I wake up each morning with en elephant on my chest. The dread of the day dawns and I just don’t want to get out of bed. Two weeks ago my girlfriend drove from her house — we live in separate cities — to end our relationship. I had thought she was coming to spend the night. It was a coldly efficient ending to what had been a passionate relationship that had gone on a year. We had known each other 20 years ago, and rekindled things last year, after both our marriages failed. I thought it was destiny. Three weeks ago, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. And now I cannot even find my heart. I have done nothing to deserve her wish to never see me again. Shouldn’t there be a little compassion? Shouldn’t I have some real idea why it ended? The break-up is all a blur, I was so stunned. I have never been party to such a cold and calculating break-up. She had my stuff in a bag that she brought in. She didn’t even park out front of my house, instead she pulled a U-turn and parked facing the way she had come in. (I live on a dead-end street). I’m slightly amazed she didn’t have a driver with her. She could have told him “keep the motor running, this’ll just take a sec.” It took about 7 or 8 minutes total, not helped, I suppose by my lack of fight. I was too stunned to argue. I just gathered up a couple of her things and handed them to her. All this to say, I’m bleeding all over the place, crying a lot and trying to figure out the point of my life. These stories I’m reading help, but I really want her back. How? How?
Boy! can I relate. Here it is 11 months later & I still hurt & have so much anger. Took me 3 1/2 years after my divorce to date again. I was married 22 years. Hubby fell in love with a girl he had hired. He went off to save her & her 2 kids. We have 2 sons, which he didn’t see or contact for 3 years after the divorce.
Finally someone came along that I THOUGHT I could trust, I felt like I had learned & grown so much. He & I had a 5 year relationship. Thought I was smart enough to chose more wisely. NOT… 11 months ago I find he has been having an affair with his friend/co-workers wife. When all the signs came together I exposed them. He & her are still together. I pass them on the road, her x-hubby to be calls me every now and then to see how I am doing? Guess I let my guard down. It took alot to trust again. I do not see trust anywhere in my future. I am now 48 years old, with a really broken spirit.
Your story may be literally saving my life right now. My boyfriend left me two weeks ago, without warning. He is already with another woman, and he denies being with her, nor anyone else, while we were together. What a *beep* liar, I know. In July, I was pregnant and lost our baby due to a miscarriage. I am still trying to deal with that, and now the one person who was my rock, the father of my unborn child, has abandoned me. I feel like I could just die. I have been crying hysterically everyday, and unable to eat. I fantasize about going over to his apartment (I still have the keys) and killing him and then killing myself. I won’t do that though. I would never do that over this loser man. I am better than that. I just wish the pain would go away though. Thanks for giving me and others in similar situations some hope.
I feel that I could just die. I returned his keys to him. His apartment was so pristine, and he never cleaned it like that for me. He had some CDs neatly stacked high. They were romantic songs. He never, ever did that for me. I feel so worthless and unattractive. I could just drown myself like Ophelia. He even returned to me the baby photos that he had of me. He said that he was worried about me, and I told him that I wanted to die. He said that he wasn’t worth killing myself over, and I will meet a nice man. How could he not realize that he was my entire world? I can’t concentrate on work, school, or anything at all. I just want to get drunk, swallow some pills, slit my wrists, and climb into a tub of water and die. I want so much for this pain to go away. I don’t know how much longer I can go on.
Its so hard to go places. Everywhere I go reminds me of where we went together and it makes me want to barf. I can’t go to the grocery store, or a friend’s house, or the airport, or to work, or to a bar, have a beer, or drive down the fucking street. I can’t eat without being reminded of him, or climb into bed, or listen to any music on my ipod, or see a movie, or get dressed.
I still feel Spain and Mexico. It comes in waves and hits me in the pit of my stomach.
He has new memories. His new memories have all but erased me.
I’m just someone he works with now.
Shelby, I cannot believe that you work with your ex! How do you get through it? I would have just quit! Right now my dog is dying in my arms. What is next for me in this painful life?
sometimes i really feel that the capability to remember and contemplate on , the very basic idea of human memory is an irony of sorts, its been 3 years since i broke up with her and she still lingers in my memories, the moment i see her profile page my heart skips a beat , sometimes i just wish i could kill the pain, the worst of it all is she did not even tell me why we broke up , asked her to do so many times,but alas all the effort’s ended in vain. i guess some things will always remain in memory etched deeper than many others. I dont think i ever will understand what was running through her mind when she left me.
It’s the next day, & thankfully my dog did not die. She was just ill. It was three weeks today that my ex left me. A few days before that, he told me how much he loved me, and that he wanted me to be the mother of his children. He turned from hot to cold just like that, in a heartbeat. I have so much rage, then I just cry. I go to the gym every single day to try & feel better. I am holding myself back from getting drunk, for I fear that I might drive over to his place and commit a violent act against him and then myself. I know that life must go on, but I don’t want to wait for it to go on. I want the pain to end NOW.
Rayjyou, that really discourages me that after three years you are still affected. In the past three weeks, I feel as if my world has ended. Each day is a struggle. I am trying not to kill myself, because I don’t want to hurt those people in my life who care about me. I can’t wait to start therapy tomorrow. I still don’t understand why my ex has left me so suddenly. How could he tell me he loves me, that he wants me to be the mother of his children, and then just leave me a few days later? We lost our child in July. He said that if he couldn’t hold a baby in his arms, it doesn’t count! Can you believe this heartless prick? Just because the baby didn’t come to full term, doesn’t mean that it didn’t mean anything. I am usually such a strong woman, always laughing, singing, and smiling. Now I have been reduced to an empty shell of a human being, crying all of the time, barely sleeping, barely eating, and wanting to die.
It’s 12:41 am here, & I just returned from a “date” with a man who was only interested in my big boobs. I made an excuse and went home. I have been reflecting. I have decided to start a good relationship with myself. I must learn to love myself more, and that way, I will no longer attract the losers that I have dated. Tomorrow I start therapy, and I am looking forward to one day completely severing ties with my loser, alcoholic, worthless bastard of an ex. I am woman! Hear me roar!
Audrey, I can feel your pain. My ex left Sept 15th after six years together. We were supposed to be leaving for Dallas Sept 23 and I was already packing. We are both retired and spent the last two winters in Texas. Life was a dream, and in 20 minutes it turned into a nightmare. He had been cheating on me for 5 months and lying to me. When I discovered his lies, he said he had to leave me because I was too suspicious. He told me he was leaving 20 minutes before I had to go to a doctor for a test on my heart that I couldn’t break because I had waited three months for the appt. While I was at the doctors, he rented a van and moved everything of his out. It soon became obvious he had it planned because he had even taken things that were mingled with mine, music, files, tools, etc. I still love him but I know he has broken this beautiful relationship we had and it can never be the same again. He left me five years ago for four months with the same woman. Then he left her to come back to me. I only wish we could be the same again, but I know in my heart I could never trust him again. He killed something so beautiful. Someday he will realize that. I am so very angry inside because this can never be fixed and I know it. He will just move on down the line and find another, then another, but here I am, 66 years old, not even able to pick up the tiny pieces of my hopes and dreams, just stunned, looking at them and crying. I am dreading Christmas. I can’t even go into a store with Christmas music without tears streaming down my face. We all wonder why this has happened, and the only reason I can think of is that we were in true love, they weren’t. People can say they love you, but it’s how they treat you that tells the tale. It is so hard to admit to myself that he did not love me, with all the beautiful memories. He used to say, I love our life together! But now he is loving life with someone younger and prettier and with everything a woman could ever want. Don’t know how long the pain will continue, but I am praying to God to change me, to change the way I see him, to remove the love I have for him in my heart and to heal me. Right now that is as far as I can think ahead. I know what you are suffering. My heart goes out to you and to all the others on this site who are torn and bleeding. I think it might help a little to know we are not alone. And to know that someday, someway, it will end and we will smile and laugh and love again.
Try to think of the bad times. When you find yourself daydreaming about the romantic times, force yourself to think about something else, anything else. It helps if you do it often enough.
Mary thanks for sharing your story! Obviously that man was not worthy of a wonderful lady like you! I feel 100% better since yesterday. I had my first session with the psychologist. At the beginning, I was bawling my eyes out, describing how this separation has ruined my life, and that I just want to end it now. Fifteen minutes later, I felt like dancing in the streets! A huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders! The psychologist pointed out that I had left my abusive, alcoholic, giant man-child of an ex several times, yet he always managed to seduce me back into his life. He is not looking for a wife, the psychologist explained. He needs a mommy. He manipulated me, mistreated me, lied to me, cheated on me, and I need to raise my self-esteem. I am a survivor of child abuse, so I am looking for the love and affection that I never had as a little girl. Unfortunately, I am attracted to jerks, and I need to change that. The psychologist asked me if my loser ex had ever exhibited certain behaviours. I was shocked! It was as if he knew my ex! He described him to a T! He knows that I am strong and independent, and once my loser ex realized that I would never be his “mommy” he found someone else to victimize. I wish his whore the best of luck! I am way to good-looking, sweet, smart and friendly for the likes of a useless 37-year-old man child who is a raging alcoholic and a total deadbeat. I am taking some time for myself. I hope you do the same Mary. We may be over 30 years apart in age, but we share a common bond. My psychologist told me to analyze how much I put into that relationship, and how much I got back. You know the answer! Like you, I put all of my heart into it, and got crap back! You know that you are too good to be with a heartless man like that. Oh I tell you I could just do cartwheels right about now! I feel so liberated after that therapy session!
Audrey, you sound so great now. I wonder if I could talk to you. I just sent you a friend request here.
I only wish I could do cartwheels too. I don’t even remember what it feels like to be happy and secure. If only this agonizing pain in my gut would end. I don’t want to cry anymore. Maybe I need to see a doctor too. I really don’t see how it would help, but I am game for anything that might help. What I really want and need is someone to love who really loves me. To feel joy and security and have hope for a future. Such simple things. Why did he have to destroy something so beautiful?
I dated this guy from 29 to 36, about 5 hours ago. My first love was shot and killed when we were 21 and I didn’t date anyone for almost 9 years. I graduated college and decided to get my MBA in a different state. I promised myself in 2002 when I moved I would be more open, start fresh, leave the past behind. I met him at work in early 2003 and it took him 3 months to get my number. I was pregnant by October. He was only 25 and didn’t want kids yet and I let him talk me into an abortion. Worst thing I ever did to date. Over these six years he had cheated probably over 50 times. You must understand after 9 years off for himto be the first I let in, I loved the ground he walked on. We moved in together in 2004 which lasted 3 weeks because I saw everything. Him grooming himself to ” go out with the fellas ” more like preparing for dates right in my face. I kick him out so he move 700 miles away to his hometown. Long story short we continued to date long distance and I going out about his first child on one of his visits. There were pictures on his cell phone of a male toddler he tried to convince me was his Godson. I found out about his other son from his first son’s mother, who has moved on with another man and i’m told by him is the only woman he ever loved, which he changed later to lusted. He lied to me for 4 and one half years telling me he loved me and that his sons were accidentsvwoth the wrong women. I wanted so much to believe, I lived for him, everything I ever did since meeting him was something to do with him. In 2008 he asked me to move in with him and I knew if I did the writting would be on the wall but I threw caution to the wind and moved to a place where I knew nobody but him. The first 3 weeks were great then the phone calls started, and the dissapearing acts, the lies that were so obvious and not well planned. I was all alone with nobody to talk to, no where to go. He was so cruel to me masterful at turning everything into my fault. The more evil and cruel he was the harder I tried, which was very hard for me because I had to be the total opposite in my profession. Could you imagine trying to be a manager and give direction everyday with tearstains on your face? I had to use the company psychologist because I was suicidal. He kicked me out knowing I had nowhere to go in his town and said he wanted to be with his son’s mother. All of that would have been fine with me if he had told me all of this before manipulating me into coming here. And what kind of person does that. Ive been living in an Econolodge ever since and he doesnt even care. He tells me to get over it, I’m weak, I should have known but in retrospect I know that was hard because he was a master at convincing me he loved despite everything. He’s a sociopath and I had the misdireune of falling in love with him. And can h believe i still love him. So all he has to do is cry a little and apologize and he can get anything he wants from me. I can’t believe I let someone control me like that knowing he’s evil but still wanting to try? Today at a store he got a phone call with a sexy ringtone that he took right in front of me telling the called he’d be done in 2 hours he’d call them back. He then had the nerve to try and convince me it was one of his guy friends I was sooo mad I demanded to go home. Of course he tried to blame me for listening to his conversation it got really ugly and alas I’m through, I just can’t take anymore, and I might be crying as I write this but deep down I know that asshole isn’t worth it. Ive completely wasted 7 years of my life but I will be fine soon.
Cindy, thanks for the friend request. Please message me anytime you wish. Tami, I am so sorry for what you have gone through. My advice to to leave the state and don’t look back. My psychologist told me to remove any reminders of my worthless prick of an ex. I had already blocked his facebook, & put his stuff away. I have since deleted every photo I had of him as well. I put away the baby books I had purchased when I was pregnant with his child. I lost that baby, but I now look at it as a blessing in disguise. That poor kid would have had a really lousy father. I had shitty parents, and I certainly would not want my children to suffer the way my sisters & I did. I am glad you are also speaking with a psychologist. Mine turned my mood right around! I was suicidal days ago (also contemplated harm to my ex). Now I feel like a million dollars.
Mary, I would highly recommend you speak with a professional. Look how it has lifted my spirits! I am slowly learning to let go. I REFUSE to let some callous piece of crap get the best of me. Life will go on, and he will reap what he sows. I have been watching Tyler Perry’s “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” as well. It is so hilarious, and gives me hope. I am very independent, but never too ashamed to ask for help when I need it. This is why I initiated sessions with the psychologist. Unlike my loser alcoholic, deadbeat of an ex, I acknowledge my faults instead of blaming them on others.
I refuse to be weak anymore.
Thank you for sharing your story. It inspires me and I am grateful for your strength. May you live the best life!
Love and light.
That is a very inspirational story and I am going through a similar thing, and you have made me see there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am 43 and my ex whom I was with for 6 years, preached to me at the beginning, for a relationship to survive you need to incorporate the the C’s compassion, communication and compromise which he never practiced what he preached. I now know that he never truly loved me but in saying that I know he came into my life to make me a stronger person and stick to my beliefs and that belief was my daughter who should come before him as she is my blood yet he wanted to be put first. That intself is selfish. I look forward to a new beginning and embrace new love.
Thank you
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