Comments on: Step 9: The Science of Gratitude http://www.healmybrokenheart.com Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:12:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Josephine http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-2#comment-4085 Josephine Sat, 09 Apr 2011 16:36:54 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-4085 I thank everyone for sharing their comments and experience. It has helped me to put my situation in different light. I've been married for almost 25 years and I've found out my husband was cheating with a 11 years younger woman from work. I was told it was work relatedt, but I saw text messages and long late night conversations. I confronted him many times and he continues to denied the relationship.They were just having dinner as coworker after work. I started seeing lots of receipts and for lunch and dinner. he started to hide his paycheck and money. He would give me the bare minimum. I was told to not touch his personal belongings. He told me he doesn't want to me be with but he just wants us to be together for the children and nothing else. He told me it was over but i still can't see to let go. I want to kick him out but then I would change my mind. My family and friends cannot understand why I continue to live in this abusive and degrading marriage. He steals money from me and empties our childrens saving to gamble or take this girl out. He's 41 years old and people think it's a mid life crisis but I have always thought that he would be loyal to me after the 25 years of marriage but I found none. He would protect this girl and abuse and use me. He's called me a F bitch. I don't understand why I still let it go on. I want to be able to tell him to leave and let me live my life but something is always holding me back. I don't know if he's still seeing this girl but in my gut, I feel he still is. When does the pain of betrayal and rejection go away? When will I have the courage to tell him to get out of my life? I'm tire of having to live a life of having to take anti-depression pills and consulting a therapist to get through my day. I want my self respect, and dignity back. I have 3 beautiful children, a great career, and I've been told that I'm pretty. So what does this girl have that I don't? I will never know, but my head won't stop tormenting me with these questions and negative thoughts. I keep praying to god to guide me in the right direction. I want to be happy again. I want love and happiness. I know I deserve better but I continue to have him in my life. I just want a normal loving relationship. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I thank everyone for sharing their comments and experience. It has helped me to put my situation in different light. I’ve been married for almost 25 years and I’ve found out my husband was cheating with a 11 years younger woman from work. I was told it was work relatedt, but I saw text messages and long late night conversations.
I confronted him many times and he continues to denied the relationship.They were just having dinner as coworker after work. I started seeing lots of receipts and for lunch and dinner. he started to hide his paycheck and money.
He would give me the bare minimum. I was told to not touch his personal belongings.
He told me he doesn’t want to me be with but he just wants us to be together for the children and nothing else.
He told me it was over but i still can’t see to let go. I want to kick him out but then I would change my mind.
My family and friends cannot understand why I continue to live in this abusive and degrading marriage. He steals money from me and empties our childrens saving to gamble or take this girl out. He’s 41 years old and people think it’s a mid life crisis but I have always thought that he would be loyal to me after the 25 years of marriage but I found none. He would protect this girl and abuse and use me. He’s called me a F bitch.
I don’t understand why I still let it go on. I want to be able to tell him to leave and let me live my life but something is always holding me back. I don’t know if he’s still seeing this girl but in my gut, I feel he still is.
When does the pain of betrayal and rejection go away? When will I have the courage to tell him to get out of my life?
I’m tire of having to live a life of having to take anti-depression pills and consulting a therapist to get through my day.
I want my self respect, and dignity back. I have 3 beautiful children, a great career, and I’ve been told that I’m pretty. So what does this girl have that I don’t? I will never know, but my head won’t stop tormenting me with these questions and negative thoughts.
I keep praying to god to guide me in the right direction. I want to be happy again. I want love and happiness.
I know I deserve better but I continue to have him in my life.
I just want a normal loving relationship. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

]]> By: ccbh http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-2#comment-4050 ccbh Fri, 25 Mar 2011 01:52:52 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-4050 Just wanted to share how helpful I've found this to be... I've been practicing it for some time now. I've taken it a step further and have posted notes to myself where they will catch my attention, and I change it up so it doesn't become part of the scenery. My favorite is the ones on my mirrors! I took erasable markers and give myself reminders like, "What are you grateful for today?" It's one of the first things I see in the morning and the last thing before bed. I also give myself a daily reminder from my phone at different times. Both have really helped me continue the practice. And my day always seems to start a little better! Oh yeah, small success to share. My ex goes to the same gym and decided to make himself seen yesterday. I didn't acknowledge him, went to Yoga class, got centered and felt great! Then I came home and there was an amazing flower arrangement on my doorstep with a note. I kindly took the flowers inside and put them in the spare bedroom where I rarely go, and committed to not opening the note until at least the 30 day mark, if I feel well enough to at that time. Still struggling with confusion, pain and loneliness...But that really felt like an achievement for me. I wish you success in your journey. Have a blessed and gratuitous weekend everyone! Just wanted to share how helpful I’ve found this to be…

I’ve been practicing it for some time now. I’ve taken it a step further and have posted notes to myself where they will catch my attention, and I change it up so it doesn’t become part of the scenery.
My favorite is the ones on my mirrors! I took erasable markers and give myself reminders like, “What are you grateful for today?” It’s one of the first things I see in the morning and the last thing before bed. I also give myself a daily reminder from my phone at different times. Both have really helped me continue the practice. And my day always seems to start a little better!

Oh yeah, small success to share. My ex goes to the same gym and decided to make himself seen yesterday. I didn’t acknowledge him, went to Yoga class, got centered and felt great! Then I came home and there was an amazing flower arrangement on my doorstep with a note. I kindly took the flowers inside and put them in the spare bedroom where I rarely go, and committed to not opening the note until at least the 30 day mark, if I feel well enough to at that time. Still struggling with confusion, pain and loneliness…But that really felt like an achievement for me.

I wish you success in your journey. Have a blessed and gratuitous weekend everyone!

]]> By: EVOL http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-2#comment-3950 EVOL Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:00:04 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3950 very encouraging to read the stories. it is hard to be grateful at times when there is so much pain, regret, hopelessness. i think it is important for us to recognize that there is no one "soulmate" in life. we are sort of programmed to believe that there is "the one". i believe it is possible to have multiple soulmates. i am grateful for my dog friends family good food health bed house though there not helping much now. but i will try and do this every day. pleez post your success stories as well very encouraging to read the stories. it is hard to be grateful at times when there is so much pain, regret, hopelessness.

i think it is important for us to recognize that there is no one “soulmate” in life. we are sort of programmed to believe that there is “the one”. i believe it is possible to have multiple soulmates.

i am grateful for my
dog
friends
family
good food
health
bed
house
though there not helping much now. but i will try and do this every day.
pleez post your success stories as well

]]> By: Michael http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3795 Michael Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:33:36 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3795 Ladies and Gentlemen, I still remember how we met...totally by chance. Her smile lit up my life for 1 year. I have cried a river of tears since the breakup. She is child-like ( controlled by parents at age of 36) and she cried once in front of them because of an argument..........Once. They then told her that our relationship was over. She then asked me to call them, I did, e-mail them, I did..............She actually asked me to send them one of my letters of reference to impress her parents. Looking back I realize that they would have dominated our future life. With that said, Her face and smile remain even in my dreams. It took me 40 years to find what we had. It does hurt. I am proud that I gave this relationship my ALL as she did to the best of her ability. Maybe that was and is the lesson to be learned. MJF Ladies and Gentlemen,

I still remember how we met…totally by chance. Her smile lit up my life for 1 year. I have cried a river of tears since the breakup. She is child-like ( controlled by parents at age of 36) and she cried once in front of them because of an argument……….Once. They then told her that our relationship was over. She then asked me to call them, I did, e-mail them, I did…………..She actually asked me to send them one of my letters of reference to impress her parents.
Looking back I realize that they would have dominated our future life. With that said, Her face and smile remain even in my dreams.
It took me 40 years to find what we had. It does hurt. I am proud that I gave this relationship my ALL as she did to the best of her ability. Maybe that was and is the lesson to be learned.

MJF

]]> By: maria http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3598 maria Mon, 20 Dec 2010 03:30:42 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3598 I still feel sad despite being grateful for all my blessings. Some circumstance are not in our control and the things that do happen are meant to happen for a reason. I struggle with being successful in many ways yet suffer while trying to understand what has happened. I dont want to cry anymore. I still feel sad despite being grateful for all my blessings. Some circumstance are not in our control and the things that do happen are meant to happen for a reason. I struggle with being successful in many ways yet suffer while trying to understand what has happened. I dont want to cry anymore.

]]> By: Mel http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3490 Mel Wed, 01 Dec 2010 05:32:29 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3490 Awaroa, I couldn't agree more with you! Very nicely put, thank you for sharing that. I have been very blessed in my life and recently lost my first true love. I am amazed at how consistent the feelings of heartbreak are throughout humans, everything everyone on here has posted about I have felt at some point in my journey of healing. It is tragic and beautiful to be able to feel such profound emotions. Having persevered through this struggle, I am confident that we will all share a stronger (unimaginable at this point) and healthier love with someone again. Awaroa,
I couldn’t agree more with you! Very nicely put, thank you for sharing that. I have been very blessed in my life and recently lost my first true love. I am amazed at how consistent the feelings of heartbreak are throughout humans, everything everyone on here has posted about I have felt at some point in my journey of healing. It is tragic and beautiful to be able to feel such profound emotions. Having persevered through this struggle, I am confident that we will all share a stronger (unimaginable at this point) and healthier love with someone again.

]]> By: Barb Hensley http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3424 Barb Hensley Mon, 15 Nov 2010 17:32:13 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3424 I'm grateful for my 3 daughters. I'm grateful for my best friend. I'm grateful for my job I’m grateful for my 3 daughters.
I’m grateful for my best friend.
I’m grateful for my job

]]> By: Yvonne http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3326 Yvonne Tue, 02 Nov 2010 05:50:22 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3326 I am grateful that I discovered the truth about the man I loved for 20 years so that I can now live my life without his betrayals. I am grateful for my 2 kids as motherhood has been the most amazing experience. I am grateful that this "crushing" break up has taught me how much inner strength I really have. I am grateful that I discovered the truth about the man I loved for 20 years so that I can now live my life without his betrayals.
I am grateful for my 2 kids as motherhood has been the most amazing experience.
I am grateful that this “crushing” break up has taught me how much inner strength I really have.

]]> By: Kathy http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3187 Kathy Thu, 14 Oct 2010 13:39:39 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3187 After 19 years of being married to two different men,,one being the happy go lucky, funny, giving, man,,a person who treated me like a queen. Then there was the man who wouldnt come home some nights, locked me out in the winter night, told me he hated my guts and to F--k off. (The alcoholic). I enabled and forgave him so many times over the years..Finally I moved him out and my brain/heart , even though its being almost 3 months still thinks of going back together. Honestly they are getting less and less as I move on with my life. I have joined many social groups, I horseback ride, go to the gym, garden when I can (coming on winter here) Joined a movie group and just overall keeping busy. I am 61 years old and often feel who would want me,,but truthfully in my heart I am a kind, funny,,happy go lucky lady. Life is good!! Hugs to all... After 19 years of being married to two different men,,one being the happy go lucky, funny, giving, man,,a person who treated me like a queen. Then there was the man who wouldnt come home some nights, locked me out in the winter night, told me he hated my guts and to F–k off. (The alcoholic). I enabled and forgave him so many times over the years..Finally I moved him out and my brain/heart , even though its being almost 3 months still thinks of going back together. Honestly they are getting less and less as I move on with my life. I have joined many social groups, I horseback ride, go to the gym, garden when I can (coming on winter here) Joined a movie group and just overall keeping busy. I am 61 years old and often feel who would want me,,but truthfully in my heart I am a kind, funny,,happy go lucky lady. Life is good!! Hugs to all…

]]> By: Awaroa http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/scienceofgratitude/comment-page-1#comment-3152 Awaroa Thu, 07 Oct 2010 11:30:39 +0000 http://smartbreakups.com/?page_id=118#comment-3152 True love is God. I am grateful for the internet and all the people on this site. I am grateful that I stumbled onto this site and found Amelie. I am grateful for her words and the videos, man this is awesome. I am grateful that everyday I am making some progress in healing myself. I am grateful that by the time I finish this program I will be healed and ready to open up my heart. I am grateful that my ex boyfriend is out of my life so that someone else can walk in to love me 20x more. Wow! I can't wait for my next love to come into my life, because I know that it is even going to be better, and happier. I am grateful that I have learnt from my experience and in my next relationship I am going to be more selective in who I choose. I am so grateful now that I have learnt about honesty, trust and respect which are the first most important things when you are looking for your special love. After that comes attraction and compatibility. I am grateful for this hurt that I am experiencing because it has shown me how human I am and that I am not a bad person for loving someone. I would give love another go, after I have healed myself. Never again will I ever think that I am not worth loving. It has been about 6 weeks or so now, that we parted, and it is now that I am starting to feel much better about myself. I am so grateful for learning how to let go of someone and for the people who have been so helpful in writing about topics, issues, books, etc on break ups. God bless you all as you are the guardian angels of god sent here to help people like me. May you feel the love of God in every part of your body. May you feel the love of God upon you now. May you feel the love of God lead you out of the darkness and into the light. Have faith in God now and he will take you by the hand like a child and show you his never ending love. We all hurt as human beings, as this was the sin that Adam and Eve created. We hurt, we grieve, we cry, as we are only human. Jesus felt all the unimaginable pain when he was crucified for our sins. So therefore he knows exactly what it is like to hurt and be cheated upon, because the whole world did it to him. So who better then our Jesus to help us. Have faith even though you cannot see him or touch him. He is here in you and me keeping us alive. I hope this has been helpful, I am not a religious person but after this break up I have another good friend I trust, love, adore, honour, respect, and truly feel safe and loved and that is my friend Jesus. Love, peace, happiness to you all. True love is God. I am grateful for the internet and all the people on this site. I am grateful that I stumbled onto this site and found Amelie. I am grateful for her words and the videos, man this is awesome. I am grateful that everyday I am making some progress in healing myself. I am grateful that by the time I finish this program I will be healed and ready to open up my heart. I am grateful that my ex boyfriend is out of my life so that someone else can walk in to love me 20x more. Wow! I can’t wait for my next love to come into my life, because I know that it is even going to be better, and happier. I am grateful that I have learnt from my experience and in my next relationship I am going to be more selective in who I choose. I am so grateful now that I have learnt about honesty, trust and respect which are the first most important things when you are looking for your special love. After that comes attraction and compatibility. I am grateful for this hurt that I am experiencing because it has shown me how human I am and that I am not a bad person for loving someone. I would give love another go, after I have healed myself. Never again will I ever think that I am not worth loving. It has been about 6 weeks or so now, that we parted, and it is now that I am starting to feel much better about myself. I am so grateful for learning how to let go of someone and for the people who have been so helpful in writing about topics, issues, books, etc on break ups. God bless you all as you are the guardian angels of god sent here to help people like me. May you feel the love of God in every part of your body. May you feel the love of God upon you now. May you feel the love of God lead you out of the darkness and into the light. Have faith in God now and he will take you by the hand like a child and show you his never ending love. We all hurt as human beings, as this was the sin that Adam and Eve created. We hurt, we grieve, we cry, as we are only human. Jesus felt all the unimaginable pain when he was crucified for our sins. So therefore he knows exactly what it is like to hurt and be cheated upon, because the whole world did it to him. So who better then our Jesus to help us. Have faith even though you cannot see him or touch him. He is here in you and me keeping us alive. I hope this has been helpful, I am not a religious person but after this break up I have another good friend I trust, love, adore, honour, respect, and truly feel safe and loved and that is my friend Jesus. Love, peace, happiness to you all.

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