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I dont wanna think about him nemore.It hurts..plz help

I dont wanna think about him nemore.It hurts..plz help

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7:29 am
February 25, 2010

theseeyes66

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Jesse,

Congrats good job I am proud of you scoring highest on your test. I know what you mean though. It is so hard to move on. I still having difficulty and I think I am worst than before. I am very confused now…. He is still text me and call me for what reason I really don't know. One of this day I will be brave to tell ask him what in the hell he wants from me if he just want to be a good guy well it speaks for himself. He is not a good guy dumping me on new year's day not even know that was coming he was a cold hearted person. I will go on with my life and like I been saying all alone. I have faith in god and I know he will always keep an eye on me and guide me. I am glad to hear that you believe in god too. Do not lose hope we will make it through this hard time. I truly believe so. Take care of yourself and yes concentrate in your school. It feels good to accomplished something.

Theseeyes

2:40 am
February 25, 2010

jesse04

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hii theseeyes,

You know i had joined some clases n last weekend we had a test n i scored highest in those.. it was such a beautiful experience.. a sense of achievement once again.. however again after 2-3 days i lost my control n got low with this break up stuff but still.. i have pasted that marksheet in my room to encourage myself n feel good .. i curse that guy everyday but i think i have to stop thinking then only i can come outta it. I m tryin too n ya i hav also started talkin to God…He is the one who will never betray us nor will He every leave us..

Love

Jesse

11:32 am
February 19, 2010

theseeyes66

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Hi Jesse,

How are you doing? are you feeling any better. I was depressed yesterday….nothing seems to work but I am not losing hope. I pray to god everyday and talk to him…… I know he is looking after me… I have faith that one of this day he will heal my heart and I will finally find happines. Do not lose hope miracles do happen. I am not looking for any relationship right now. I am putting all my energy to be a good dancer and will continue it as long as I can. You are young there are so many apportunity out there for you. You just have to seek and find out what will you like to do. Take care. I am getting ready to go to work. I don't have yahoo messanger at work but I have hotmail I am on line in the afternoon. my email address bluemagic1994@hotmail.com. Take care

Theseeyes

10:57 am
February 18, 2010

jesse

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ya..but it jus hurts n hurts n hurts .. n i cry n cry n cry..lolz. back 2 d same thg all again.. dam dis heart..

10:57 am
February 18, 2010

jesse

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ya..but it jus hurts n hurts n hurts .. n i cry n cry n cry..lolz. back 2 d same thg all again.. dam dis heart..

2:52 am
February 18, 2010

fantasia

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hi jesse

you know a friend of mine told me something, “when a girl & a guy are in a relationship the guy loves the girl more, but the girl is more faithful” sure it is not about all guys, but i guess that thats why this happened to us,,

your x-bf he maybe got engaged because he thought that there is no way to be with you, & that he can't convince his parents to let him do whatever they want, some parents are like that love controling their children's life thinking that what they are doing is the right thing, but believe me sooner or later they gonna know that what the have done is wrong, but then it maybe too late to realzing that,,

i just want you to keep telling your self that he doesn't desrve to think about him all the time, he left you, so you try to leave him like he did to you, try to get your heart back & try to keep it save

11:44 pm
February 17, 2010

jesse04

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Cooper or miro?

11:41 pm
February 17, 2010

theseeyes66

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Hi Jesse, let me send you an email and tell me if you get it okay. take care my friend and I hope you are doing better. I am not doing as good as I wanted too. I guess this is the part of grieving.

Theseeyes

11:24 pm
February 17, 2010

jesse04

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Miro is it theseeyes??

11:10 am
February 17, 2010

theseeyes66

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Jesse, I sign up for yahoo and add you to my contact list

take care write some more later.

theseeyes

6:02 am
February 17, 2010

kenlee6

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Hi Jesse

I know she is not cheating on me. It's just that i am hiding something from her bf. I know that it's not fair for her bf. If he knows the truth maybe her bf will decide differently as in maybe not wanting to be with her. So just because she is keeping it from him it is not fair for him and it actually changed his decision (compared to if he were to know)

I am really in a dillemma.

I cried everyday too thinking about she and her bf. Really breaks my heart

11:01 pm
February 16, 2010

jesse04

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Hi fantasia,

Sorry to hear your story too buddy.. really life gets unfair sometimes.. My ex did loe me at one point of time but i dont understand what made him leave me for his family?.. Just because his dad wont give him their family biz!! lolzz..what a spine less person he was.. Nd he even got engaged so soon..if he would have really loved me he might not have married me for his parents but he wouldnt have got engaged to someone else either.. lolz.. life is unfair really.. i really wanna see him go through the same pain as i m going through right now.. but i know one thing for sure.. time doesnt remain the same for long.. life is a play.. if the first part is full of sorrows n pain..the next part wil definitely be full of happiness

You are also lucky to have known the truth n so m i. There will be someone better and somone who will love us much much more.. i hope so..

@kenlee theseeyes n fantasia :if you have yahoo messenger add me jesse_wensday

Love to you al

Jesse

4:40 am
February 16, 2010

fantasia

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Hello Jesse,

I know how you feel cause I've been through it & still going through it, I've been in a relationship for a 13 month with a guy who was after me for a year to make me fall in love with him, I did love him more than anything in my life, I did everything I could to make him happy, he loved me & made me talk to his uncle on phone for four or five times as he doesn't here & he lives in America [I'm from Egypt by the way] there was a girl that was his best friend & he consider her his sister because he doesn't have one in real life, the girl loved him & i told him that he said that he knows but he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't wanna hurt her,, at first she didn't know that i'm in a relationship with him,, he didn't know how to tell her so i did instead of him,, i thought that things would be different & she will stay away from him but I was WRONG..

She stayed away from for a while & then she was back & tried to do things just to tease me & when i tell him she is doing to tease me he tells me that i'm wrong & she doesn't mean that,, he always make me feel that i'm wrong & he is right & she is an angel,, we were fighting because of her i told him once i hate her & i can't go on like that choose between us because i can't stand what she was doing,, he REFUSED to choose & because i loved him i had to go on because i didn't wanna lose him..

The last time that i saw him was when he proposed to me,, two weeks later from that time he told me that he has problems at home & i won't rechareg for a while,, i felt sorry about him i was calling him everyday sometimes he didn't answer & that makes me worry about him,, we stayed a mounth like that talking about two minutes daily & no meetings,, i had problems with mum because of him she was telling that he loves me,, my uncle wants me to marry his son i didn't tell my bf about that too i was keep telling my self that he has much troubles & i don't wanna make it more,, a friend for the girl that loves him added my mail & she was telling me stuff but indirect way like i don't have to trust him etc. i was afraid but i told her i trust him.. we had a fight & i told him if you wanna leave me just tell me, he said that he doesn't want to leave me & if he wanted to do that he will talk to me first,, after two weeks from this conversation he blocked my mail,, my facebook account,, he didn't answer any of my calls or messages, and just disappeared i sent him lots of msgs reminding him of our days & how we loved each other & begged him to come back to me,, he didn't do anything but sending one message telling me that he is hurt more than me,, it is out of my hand & i want you to forgive me,, i answered this msg & told him i'll never forgive till you tell me WHY you did this to me, it was you who came at first to me not me,, he just didn't answer..

After two months of the breaking up my mobile was ringing i didn't know the number but when i answered i knew that it was my bf's uncle he wants to check on me,, he wanted to see me but there were no time honestly i didn't believe that this is the reason for that call but i didn't know what to do i was shocked,, after that call a friend of mine told me that my bf is in a relationship with the girl that i hat & i discovered that that was from the time that he was telling me that he had problems,, he lied on me & betrayed me & then dumped me why?? i just don't have any idea..

Now i wish that he suffers & that this girl leaves him or anything bad just happen to them,, i know that i wrote too much about me but that is because i don't have anyone to talk to about this,, my friends tells me to stop thinking about him & they don't wanna hear about him, the same my sis she is emotionless & doesn't tell me anything useful

For now i can tell you that its been 5 months since he left me, i don't love him any more but i just can't get him out of my head,, till now i don't listen to the songs that reminds me of him,, things are reminding me of him i just hate that,,

I'm trying to go on my life & to do whatever i wanna do & he didn't agree on, like taking courses, loose weight,, hang out with my friends,, i'm trying to keep my self busy all the time to not think of him,, sometimes it works,, & you know what?? i keep telling my self that he didn't deserve the love that i gave him, i don't deserve a man who may dump me for another it makes me feel relief for a while, but honestly i want him to come back to me just to tell NO Laugh

Do what ever you want, try to not to think of him when he comes on your mind try to think of something else or talk to someone that will help, but just don't make your life stop at that point,, because someday you will regret wasting all your time on thinking about someone who betrayed you believe me he doesn't deserve it

4:05 am
February 16, 2010

jesse

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Hey kenlee,

I am from India and i ve heard a lot about Singapore

And dont tell that guy dear.Maybe she is not cheating on him and maybe you might end up screwing up his life for no reason. Just be happy that you are saved from her coz u definitely deserve someone better.If a girl cant understand that you need to give time and importance to your career she doesnt understand what life is to you.

You know i cry everyday.. dont know when is this going to end but i like being with my family..i jus want to be with them.. Newayz hope fo the best buddy

Jesse

6:44 am
February 15, 2010

kenlee6

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Hi Jesse

Thanks a lot. I am really on the verge of telling this guy. It seems like she is playing with me and then not being honest with this guy.I think i will feel better after i tell but deep down i know i shouldnt. I am from Malaysia. Heard about it before?? It's at South East Asia next to sngapore.

Take care

5:27 am
February 15, 2010

jesse

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Hi theseeyes,

I totally agree with you dear but as i said..TILL that day comes this time is really hard.. My friends also got irritated with time so i cry to myself.I use a few bad words for him n i feel better.I talk to my bro n dad sometimes but..my bro is kinda emotionless n wants me to be like him too.. so he kinda gets strict with this thing and i feel bad tellin my this condition to my dad as he has been really supportive but he cant see me like this and feels bad. I don feel like hurting my dad..so i talk here .. Honestly people who undergo such things can feel the pain much much better.I also dont wanna be bad but after giving in so much to a relationship he left me for a damn reason that his family wanted him to leave me and marry their choice!!! Why he didnt think of all that when he came running afte me in the college and after a long run of like 7-8 months talked to me proposed in next 2 months and got my anser after 1 more month!!! he was like crazy jus to gimme this one day?? nd then a whole year of tears n stuff!! I want him to feel this too.. i pray daily that his wife should cheat on him and treat his parents badly so that he should realise that just by being born in a joint family doesnt make a girl good by morals n nature!!!! Crazy people.. I really want him to suffer the way I m suffering today and when he will realise that it will be too late coz in our society divorce is a bad thing n he wont be able to give divorce also to that girl..lolzz.. I just pray for his unsuccessful marriage! At least for the time being it does gives us courage and comfort..

Hi kenlee,

First of all as i had told you earlier STOP blaming n criticizin yourself buddy..really.Dont do that.NO NO. Secondly, leave it to God. Right now you are in a vengeful mood and its very obvious..so m i.. but later you might feel guilty. Not because you hurt your ex but because your morals are good and your conscience wont like that. So dont do this. At this stage you will feel good but later it miight become a reason for your frustration. And i guess u from the US .. lucky u buddy..just hang out..date other people n have fun.

We al are here..take care

Lotsaa love to all

Jesse

3:14 am
February 15, 2010

kenlee6

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Hi Jesse

I truly believed that she had loved me last time as she had done a lot of things for me which i took for granted. Maybe that made her chose her bf. He bf doesnt know about us at all.

Now i feel like telling her bf all about us. I am so sad and frustrated. I felt that the bf should know. I know she will hate me more and the bf will be angry at her. Should i tell or not ??? I really dont know what to do. Part of me say yes and part of me say no. Really helpless now

8:54 pm
February 14, 2010

theseeyes66

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Jesse, this has been the toughest day of our life….Valentines Day I feel your pain. I know the sorrow and wishing this day will end.. I am there with you. You at least have a brother that you can talked to and cried to. I have no one… My friend seems to be irritated with me talking about him so I stop. This is the only way I can vent posting from here. Well, let me take that back I have someone I can talked to and cried to and that is god…. I did that today I cried and talked to him and ask him to help me go through this day. It was not easy but I made it through. Jesse, I know how painful to be rejected by someone you love. If I understand it right that you run in with him quite a bit and yes that can hinder you process to move on with your life…. Luckily I don't have to worry about running into my ex and the new girlfriend small chance I run into them. My interest now is not their interest so that is wonderful for me. They are not interested in ball room dancing not like me so that is really a plus. I just thank god that this was the case I really won't know how I am going to feel if I see them both together…

You are absolutely right what goes around comes around. It will come back to him just wait and see. I am not trying to be vicious but I would like to see him suffer like he made me suffer….. I don't want to be ugly but I just want him to feel what he made me go through. I also wish for the new girlfriend to be dumped like me because she knew me and she went and screw him anyway knowing that we are going out together. Now, that I am older now…. I told myself that I will not lower myself again to date a man who is taken.

Jesse there will be a day when we finally move on with our life. We both can laugh about this and we will a man that will love us for who we are and stand by us because we mean a lot to them.. God will answer our prayer don't give up hope.

Theseeyes

11:29 am
February 14, 2010

jesse

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Hi kenlee,

I know it hurts..but i tell you one thing, my mom always tells me this ” never say you did wrong coz whatever we do in life we do our best at that point of time even if it seems to be the wrong choice later but never criticize yourself ” . Reading your story i feel that the girl was playing with you buddy..Really..you did the right thing.If a person loves someone that how can he/she love someone else?.. so never think that you did anything wrong. You did what you felt was the best at that point of time and stay happy

Take Care

Hi theseeyes,

Thanks a lot pal for your support.Really am glad i found a site like this one.. nd met people like you. We are like miles apart yet we can feel each others' pain so nicely. I do try to distract myself but at times it just gets too much. That guy simply dumped me because now he needed to be with his dad so that he could give him his business and his dad didnt like me so i was dumped.. Inspite of the fact that i gave him so much of love.. yes i was rude to him at times but my love was also there..What he did and what he has been doing ( goin around with his fiancee and ignoring n hurtin me) will give him sorrows one day too.. God is watching everyone.. And i know one day i will also have a beautiful life with an amazing man but till then the time is too tuff..n at times i juz break down n again after cryin for sometime n cursing myself him n everythg i get ok..so…its just going n going. I cried a lot in front of my brother today as its Valentine's Day..but my bro really heard and motivated me to move on in life.. I just want to be happy once again and forget that ______(sorry). It hurts but i dont wanna cry for a man who did this to me. I dont know when will this pain end.I don know how i will stop myself from crying and all again n again.. its tough especially when i have to live in the same city which isnt that big and i m afraid to encounter him when i go out.. It is jus too tough to wake up in the morning without this pain.. its just too hurting.. but have to live.. what to do..

Lotsaa love to you all

Jesse

8:12 am
February 12, 2010

theseeyes66

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Jesse, I know how you felt. I felt the same way as you did. I am much older now and had been through a lot of heartache, and believed it or not I felt the same way as you feeling right now the only difference is that I found peace in my heart. I still think of my ex he popped in my head most of the times and I feel the pain and there are times that I have a teary eyes. Yes, there are times that I have a hard time distructing myself and the only way that it works for me now is talking to god. I talk to god so frequent and it seems to help. At night I used to put the timer on the tv not anymore I turned off the tv and start talking to god until I fall asleep and it help me sleep through the night and feeling better. I used to have problem sleeping at night I can only get 4 hours sleep now I get at least 6 hours if my dog doesn't wake me for him to go out.

You said you have school and career focus on those things. Give it 120% I know it is not easy but you have to distruct yourself and think of your future this man already had taken your heart dont give him any thing else. You know the mistake that we made is that we beg them and plead for them to get us back and when we do that they see helpless women and they don't want to deal with us. I learned this thru out my life begging doesn't help and this time I did that in the beggining begging for my ex to think the years we have together and guess what that doesn't help he seems to be more irritated with me. I did stupid stuff crying to him and tell him how much he hurt me and he said I am sorry ……. he didn't mean to hurt me. I never get the answer why he cheated on me because he doesn't like confrontation. There is no closure he is good very evasive when I asked him question so rather me forcing him to tell me what went wrong with our relationship. I just let go…… I am letting it go I don't need the heart ache don't want to know what he is doing? who is he with? Is she better than me? I tried to erase that and like I said I am focusing more with myself than I ever had in my whole life. I know you heard this so many times that you have a life ahead of you and that you will find the right man there are out there. Well, for me I don't think I have meet mr. right. I am not focusing on that so I really don't care if I meet mr. right. I am learning to love and think of myself and that is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself. I hope I help a little I know I went through moments that I need someone to help me or just to correspond with me and the truth it does help so keep writing how you feeling in this forum and will always be there to write you back if you want me to. Take care of yourself.

theseeyes

5:13 am
February 12, 2010

kenlee6

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Hi Jesse

I think i have quite a similar situation.But the difference is that i was in a love triangle and it hurts very much. I fell in love with this gal whom i knew had a bf about 1 year ago.Things were well for us as she really loved me but at the same time she also loved him. Our relationship was a hidden one. No 1 knew about our relationship. We cant be seen together holding hands when we are walking or going out for a movie. Things were going on quite well for me despite knowing that i am sharing this girl with another guy.

U might call me selfish but i really loved her more than anything in the world. Few months later things changed when i moved to a new workplace.Was stressed out and frustrated. Then we were quite distant during that period. But i never scolded her or cheated or anthing.

Once day she told me she was going to go back to her bf.And that she will be engaged to her bf. My heart hurt very much.I went into depression. Lost interest in everything and was unable to sleep. I have even thought of hoping a car would ram into mine when i was driving and so that God could take me with him. The pain was so bad that u can literally feel it in your chest.

It hurts a lot when the one u truly love is going to marry another person. It really sucks. At least you did nothing wrong that he chose the other gal. If you were to be given another chance to redo things again, outcome might be the same cause u've done your best.

Unlike me, i have done things that made her got angry with me and i really regretted it. It cost me a lot. Cost me a relationship with the girl i truly loved. And the worst thing is that i have to live with that regret for the rest of my life. That is the worst experience. Not given a 2nd chance. Now whenever i think of her i will blame myself for everything and it's hurting very much. I feel so envy when some people get a 2nd chance to redo things or the mistakes. I always ask God why cant He give me a 2nd chance now that i have learnt my mistake. I guess i'll have to live with that regret till the day i die.

Anyway it's been 4-5 months and i am still feeling this pain very much. Just pray that it will go away and i hope your pain will go away too. I guess time heals.

Anyway there's another saying “If you truly love a person, let him go. If he comes back to you, then he willl be yours forever, but if he doesn't then he's not meant to be yours “

Hope that helps

11:49 pm
February 11, 2010

jesse

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Hey theseeyes,

thanks pal..i know i have to move on but his thoughts just keep coming.I do forget him and like for a day or two am perfectlly fine but then again the same thing comes up and again i start thinking y he did this..wish he could come back..wish we could again fall in love and have the same beautiful life.. my brain knows it is wrong n my brain knows hes not the right guy but my heart.. it juz wants him.. it hurts really..

I wanna feel happy again.I cant indulge into another relationship as its high time for my career.But when i study ,his thots jus come up n i cant concentrate.In my world career is very important and i don know whats gonna happen.. i m like gonna ruin my career my life dis way..

i really feel like goin to him n beggin to come bck but i ve done that a hell lotta times already b4 our break up.I know he wil not come back now that hes going to marry someone else.But my heart..is just not listenin to me. what do i do… plz help

7:29 am
February 11, 2010

theseeyes66

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Jesse I am so sorry about your situation. I feel your pain. My situation almost similar as yours. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 10 years. We spent together on New Year's Eve and I thought everything was doing well with us. He was so thoughtful, caring, he made me think that we will be together and get old together. On New Year's Day he dropped a bomb shell that he had been cheating on me with his co-worker. I was desvastated, didn't know what had hit me. On top of that he choice to be with her and I ended up dumped. Yes, it hurt so bad. I still do love him and I still feel in my heart that I love him and always be there for him. I do not want to think about the good times or the bad time together because I don't think that it will help to heal my heart. I avoid the things that we used to do together we used to go to ski resort he snowboard and I skied. I have not gone to the movie since we broke up because I don't want to have any memory in short. I tried not to do what we used to do to keep my sanity..Once in a while he cripped into my head and I try my very best to destruct my own self. This has been very difficult for me to deal with. My emotion is like a roller coaster it goes ups and down. Sometimes I am fine and there are times that I am not ok. I tried to read all the self help book to destruct myself I am trying my very best to be strong. I will say this though. I had been praying to god everyday to help me deal with my broken heart and at the beginning it seems like it doesn't help now, I feel much much better.My heart feels lighter and I feel contend. I really don't know how to explain it. I just know that god works in mysterious ways and he will be always there to look after each one of us. Have faith.

My advice to you is that forget the bozo. It is time for you to think of yourself. This is what I done for myself. I have been focusing on self improvement. I have lose weight and still need to lose weight to reach my goal. I am getting close to my goal and I really feel great. I change my hair do. I picked Sandra Oh hairstyle and I love it. I used to have a very long hair that comes down to my hips and the only way I fix my hair is pony tail it braid it and put it up and it got so heavy, Now, I feel so revive and my head feel much lighter. I exercise at least 4-6 days a week. I love to go to Zumba classes love to dance and that is one of the thing that I gave up to be with my ex. I did everything that he likes yes, we went dancing but it is not the same thing learning to dance . I will give him credit he tried one time and he complained about his back hurting so we quite it all together. Now, that we are not together I am able to do what I want to do. Dancing is one of my favorite. Next week I am going to learn a ball room dance already got the information where I can go and learn and really excited about this. Yes, there are times that I feel lonesome, feel hurt those are normal feelings. I will never say it is going to be easy because it is not. Stop thinking about the past and think of the future. You deserve a better life for yourself and beside that if a man will not stand by yourside then he is not worth it. You will find a better man out there that will love you for who you are and won't let his family dictate who he should be with. I hope this help you a little and Take care of yourself.

Theseeyes

12:53 am
February 11, 2010

jesse04

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Hi everyone,

I had a bf who proposed to me 3 yrs back ..he used to say al the fairy tale thgs here too..loves me like netg..crazy abt me..mad abt me..m everythg 4 him..blah blah..n we were so much sure to marry after an year or two.Last year his parents found my love note in his wardrobe n started creatg nuisance..threatnd him of leavin me n al.. Initially he did fight 4 us but gradually he started hatin me only ( yes i was rude to him smtyms but tht was coz he was harmin himslf for his family..like takin sleepin pills n al..i said few wrong thgs for his family) ..wid tym he said he hated me..then he said there was notg left tht cud make his family accept me n blah blah..i kept beggin pleadin cryin..everythg to get him..but he was like..adamant nw.. initially i felt he loves me but he doesnt want to hurt his family so i was kinda in pain..still continued talkg wid him hopin one day he will come back again ( FALSE HOPE) ..he was bein sympathetic sayin we r best frnz 4evr n he wil b always thr 4 me etc etc..wen one day he juz msgd 2 tel me tht he has been engaged officially to anothr girl…!!!! i was devastated..my dreams n my FALSE hopes..everythg juz shattered n i was broken again..( he hasnt contacted me after tht ever)

I ve my dad supportg me..but i feel sad hurtg him wid dis sick condition of mine.. its been a month since i parted wid him ( 3 months wen he declared the break up )…n its been a week after his engagement.. Smtyms i think i just want him..only him and he had done so many special things for me..the same beautiful life full of love again…sometyms i think i don want dis coward guy back in my life who cudnt stand 4 d love he said was everythg 2 him..but i feel hurt every moment i think tht I was d one who gav 100% nd he was the one to end it n hurt me n betray..stil he is d one to get sm1 new n is so damn happy!! i hate it..

Its like a never ending painful cycle..i want to hate this guy and i want to be happy again..only i cant restrain myslf from thinkin abt the old days n then abt his involvement n commitment to another girl..plz help..!

Jesse

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I dont wanna think about him nemore.It hurts..plz help

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