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I am 24 i have two beautiful children a 5yr old and a 2yr old. I have been with my fiance for 7years. He has had an affair since christmas eve. He swears they did not have sex and have only kissed twice and felt eachother once. He said it all started with them flirting in work and then when he was on his work night out they kissed and exchanged mobile numbers. After this he said they were texting back and fourth and met on christmas eve before work and kissed and felt eachother, from then on apparently they didnt meet in private again just text eachother.

I feel betrayed and annoyed he could do this to me and my children especially over christmas when he still came home to us and we had a great christmas.

I did see a change in mood with him as he was never patient with the kids and always seemed angry and tense. He also began looking up free flirting text messaging sites in front of me, he did send some to me. He also kept hiding his phone. We have always had a great sex life so i thought he was just stressed with work and all. I knew something was wrong which is why i checked his messages in his inbox and his sent items. he was texting back and fourth to a girl named 'a', this rang alarm bells as he works with a girl called Anna. He had mentioned her a few times. The text messages were not flirting ones just talking ones.I waited until i had proof he was cheating on me before i confronted him. This proof was a text message sent on my sons birthday to this woman saying he couldnt meet her on sunday because our sons birthday party was on.

I confronted him and he denied it. I then asked him who A was on his phone. He told me it was friend he worked with and he was texting them about going for a drink. I called him a lier and he told me it was just flirting. As i confronted hiim on our way to work i told him to meet me in a bar after work.

In the bar he sat looking all guilty. i asked him to talk. he told me it was Anna who he worked with and they did no more than a kiss and texting eachother. In this conversation he lied to me 5 times about diifferent things. After the 5th time i told him i didnt beleive him so he told me he met her on christmas eve and they went to a toilet beside the bus stop and kissed and felt eachother.

i told him we were over and he followed me home. i told him to pack a bag and leave. he packed the bag but wouldnt leave. i told him to explain it to the kids. When he talked to the kids he was crying and then he left.I felt in limbo because he didnt seem to show any guilt towards me just to the kids at this point.

 The next day because i was devasted i phoned into work and took the day off. He went into work like nothing happened. this made me even angrier because i assumed he would come begging for forgiveness and the rest of it. In stead he went to work with the slut that helped him get into the position.

He showed up after he finished work at 9pm. here he told me he loved me and it was me he wanted. i told him i would like to make it work but we need to be living apart for a while to build a fresh on our relationship. He told me he finished it with the girl and told me he deleted her number of his phone. I asked him to prove it so he gave me his phone and her number was still there although he did delete all the messages. At this point all my anger had built up and i tried to ring the girl from his phone to let her know that she had helped destroy my family.before i could actually get through to her my fiance snapped the phone of me and walked out. He told me the reason he did this was he didnt see how it would resolve anything and he didnt want it being brought into his work.

Again i still felt in limbo. I was trying to hide my emotions from the kids as i would never say anything bad about their daddy. i had to deal with them asking me constantly were there daddy was and why wasn't he sleeping over and did they do something wrong.

So the next day i was stressed to the hilt i was crying constantly and thankfully the kids were at school. i felt then i couldnt cope with having my heart broken and having my two children asking me all sorts. so i phoned my fiance at his work, i was crying down the phone and i asked him to take the rest of the week off to sort this because i couldnt cope. This was against my better judement but i felt alone.

He came straight up from his work and we did cry together and get some stuff of our chests. we then had sex and hes moved back in. Although he is helping more around the house and playing with the kids more i still feel like he is trying as hard with me. He is starting stupid conversations and is hugging me more and all. I have told him he needs to start talking to me more about what is going on in his head because im still clueless about why he did it.

We have always found it hard to have a minute alone especailly with two kids. My way of dealing with it was trying harder not going out and having affair with the first thing that comes along. I expected him to grovel and beg for forgiveness, but to me he is just telling me all the right things like telling me he loves me and he is sorry. I can see he is trying to talk to me more. but it doesnt seem like hes doing enough. i have done all the crying i can. i am still not sure if i can trust him cause he stills works with the girl and he does 40hr shifts so i still only see him in the morning and then last thing at night.

I have told him i do not want us to be together for the kids and he said he loves me for me. I feel like im the one asking all the questions and the one finding all the answers.

Does anyone know how we can help eachother communicate more? We have looked into counselling but the only one close to me is expensive.

Thanks for reading my horrible story