Contributed by our Guest Expert: Catherine VanWetter
Inner-Resolution Facilitator of Peace, Love, Compassion and Forgiveness
When one experiences heartbreak, we are often told by well-meaning family and friends, that time heals all wounds. And, that with enough time, we will be able to pick ourselves up and move forward. How can it be then, that after many years have passed, we may still find ourselves wondering why we feel empty, uninspired or depressed, unable to move forward?
I have spent a large part of my personal and professional life searching for an answer to that very question. And, I believe, that I have found part of that answer! One of the reasons time doesn’t heal all wounds is because our wounds become part of our biology or body. That is, our issues are in our tissues. Not only does our body remember everything that has ever happened to it, these memory imprints can be passed on from one generation to the next unless there is resolution.
Our biography or life situations continue to perpetuate themselves until we recognize them and bring them to our conscious level. It’s interesting to note that more than 80% of how we function on a day-to-day basis is unconscious. When we catch ourselves being unconscious, that is when we are conscious, at least for a brief moment.
When dealing with emotional wounds, it is important to bring the experience to our conscious awareness so that we can deal with it on all levels. The levels that I am referring to are the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual ones. Once all of these levels are addressed than we are able to move forward with a heart that is mended and able to be open to new experiences, with a fresh perspective.
I would invite folks who are interested in moving beyond their heartbreak and truly heal on a deep level, to seek out a professional who could witness their unresolved pain in a way that honored them. When this safe space is provided, it allows the individual to facilitate a deeply profound release of the pain that time could then, truly heal. The truth when uncovered and witnessed will set one free.
Sign up below for Catherine’s free 60-minute Teleclass on How to Release the Pain from your Break Up. You will receive details on how to listen to the call via phone or on the web as soon as you sign up. Remember, there are limited seats available, so don’t delay!
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Time has not healed my wounds…that is for sure. I’m going on year 4 after my divorce (that was a shock) and I really want to let go of this pain. I appreciate the article and cant wait for the class. thanks.
not only has time not healed my wounds, it has made it far worse. i think the part about how the pain stays in our biology is fascinating and i completely believe it.
I’m someone who is new to serious relationships so therefore I can’t say wether or not Time can heal all wounds for me. There has only been one serious relationship in my life and it involves the death of a son, which led to the Complete (no communication, NONE) break-up between us. Although he wasn’t by biological son, I was the only father he knew from the time he was born while the real one could care less. It only lasted 2 years untill Aug 7, when he died. Back to my point about time, dealing with as much love I had for both of them it’s hard to predict that It would ever just “Blow over”.
Good evening Rochelle, thank you so much for your comment. I am sorry to hear that you are still in so much pain. It is truly amazing how embedded our pain can become. It’s as if it becomes our identifying image and we wear it everywhere.
Gratefully you have found this site and may be able find some relief with your loss.
If I can support you in anyway, please let me know.
With a Grateful and Very Full Heart, Catherine
Good evening Jim, thank you for writing in. Gratefully, scientists such as Candace Pert and Bruce Lipton are validating the fact that we carry our pain and trauma in our cells. The question is, how do we release it from our bodies? I have had the good fortune of exploring and learning many healing techniques that goes right to the core of our pain. This allows our bodies to release the memory and move the trauma out. Methods such as NLP (neuro linguistic programing) and EFT (emotional freedom technique) can be helpful in doing this.
If I can further support you, please let me know.
With Gratitude, Catherine
Thank you Brian for your heartfelt message. I am so sorry for your loss. Regardless of how long your relationship lasted or whether you were his biological father matters not, when we experience such a deep loss. If we look at it from a systems level, all of us are connected to each other. When we give our heart and love to someone and they leave us either through death, divorce, or illness, we are still energetically connected to them until we are able to release them with love. It doesn’t mean that we forget them rather we are able to move forward in our lives knowing that the bond we shared will always be with us. It’s a beautiful ceremony of honoring the love that was shared.
If I can assist you with this, please let me know.
With a Full and Very Grateful Heart, Catherine
Catherine,
Thank you so much for your response. That actually makes sense to me as I have vivid memories of my past. It’s as if what happened in my break up is replayed in my mind over and over again and sometimes it honestly feels real. It feels as if I’m in the room with her still and the level of pain is the same. I look forward to learning about the techniques. Thx for the advice.
Jim
Jim, I will respond to your message on Friday, Oct. 29.
Good afternoon Jim, yes, trauma does that to us. It is amazing how the body, or unconscious part of us, literally carries it, and never forgets anything that has ever happened to it. At times, it seems that the traumatic experiences are remembered more than the good times.
You bring up the point of replaying it in your mind over and over again. It may very well be that you play it in your amygdala, which is the brain’s storehouse of memories, and that activates the limbic system, often referred to as the “emotional brain”. So not only is your body affected with emotional trauma but so is your brain and your heart.
EFT (emotional freedom technique) is a tool that releases body memory by tapping on the various acupressure points in the body. And NLP addresses those unconscious parts of our self that continues to perpetuate a pattern or memory. If you are interested in using either of these techniques, please let me know.
With a Grateful Heart, Catherine