Comments on: Choose to Forgive: Making Choices (Part II)

By: ranny

ranny — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 08:35:22 +0000

Yes, I understand You are right Forgiveness is one the best options and choice. I can see some good reasons first, I need to know why she is doing this to me? Yes I am on my way to forgive my self. While forgiveness is one of the best choices we are going to do, but we need to practice it as we go on. Thanks for this idea I will forgive her of hurting me. As the days go by, it may not be instantly heal but at least moment by moment you are in the right way of healing process. Yes yes yes to all of you who have not tried this you will understands that forgiveness is the right thing to do. Now I am on my way to forgive her and I see that I feel that the heavy heart which is in pain , is now slowly lighten. Try it.

By: Miracle

Miracle — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:23:22 +0000

What if he is the one who can’t forgive me? I begged, I pleaded, I went into desperate mode, I even went into depression knowing the fact that he hates me for breaking his heart but still he remains cold-hearted… What am I supposed to do? How can I forgive myself if the person I’m asking for forgiveness is being cruel? …sigh…

By: Marsha

Marsha — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:52:55 +0000

I found this website just in the nick of time…After a year and four months engaged to a woman across the country, whom I really believed was “the one,” things fell apart. Being lonely in a relationship is far worse than being contented and single. Having visited her in Santa Barbara, CA, which is akin to Paradise, I lost my sense of reality. I wanted to sell my condo, uproot my life, donate a kidney to her because she is in renal failure, and ignore the persistent warnings in my head. No way! Danger! I was on the verge of ignoring m y own, always reliable, intuition. Instead, I adopted the sweetest little brown tiger cat, who loves me unconditionally! My advice: adopt a lonely pet.

By: ra

ra — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:54:36 +0000

my (ex) boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me… with a prostitute. he’s sorry and in therapy for sex addiction. if we had been having problems or if he made a ‘real’ connection with another girl then maybe i could understand, but that’s not the case. how do you forgive when somebody has brought such a dirty, sinister element into your life? it’s just that feeling that the other person has selfishly upset the balance that really makes someone angry.

By: Lost and alone

Lost and alone — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:35:39 +0000

I am having the worst time trying to forgive my ex… He chased me for 10yrs trying everything possible in the book to get me. I resisted him for so so long because he was in a relationship with a woman that he claimed he was very unhappy with, but didn’t want to leave because of his son. Eventually I started seeing him, but I knew it was wrong because even though he claimed to be unhappy he was still with her. I moved to another city and stopped seeing him, 2yrs later they moved to the same city and we began seeing each other again. Well eventually she found out about us and caught him at my house. That night he told her it was over and that he really loved me and did not want to be with her anymore. He moved in instantly with me, and I thought everything would be okay. She wouldn’t allow his son to come over to visit at our home, so he could only see him at her home, that put such a big strain on me wondering what he was doing over there when he went to see his son. Well one year after we got together I was pregnant. I thought that since his son couldn’t be apart of us as a family that me being pregnant would be a wonderful way to make us a complete family. He didn’t see it that way and wanted me to get rid of the baby and left me instantly. I thought I was dreaming because this man did everything to get me and now he finally had me and was tearing me apart because of my pregnancy. Well after struggling with the decision I decided to keep my baby and he left me and went back to her. Now I have a beautiful son and he wants to be apart of his life and I won’t let him because of all the hurt and pain he caused… How do I forgive him and let him be apart of the son he left behind and wanted nothing to do with from the beginning? I am just completely filled with so much rage and anger it has taken over me.

By: sheldon

sheldon — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:44:54 +0000

I forgave him even before he ended it. He was never unkind. He was my best friend, I was his. The reason he ended it is completely understandable. He is 14 years younger than I am, and his life is in front of him. He needs his freedom and independence, needs to take care of himself. He needs to date other girls, meet new people, do new things without being wrapped up in me. When we were together it was so beautiful and fun and perfect, it was easy for him to fall into the role of boyfriend/girlfriend. He will meet someone, fall in love, get married and have a family. My daughter is in her 3rd year of college… I didn’t mean to fall for him. It developed out of a friendship. We just enjoyed each other so much. I knew I would love him more than he loved me, but I thought it was too special to say no to; it almost felt like I didn’t have a choice. We work together, and I see him every day. He’s across the room, and I can’t look at him or I will start crying. I can’t even say hello, I am unable to make it casual and on the surface. The bond was intense. I’d never experienced real love before. He is unique and different than anyone I’ve ever known. We traveled to other countries together, spent almost every night together for 3 months. We never argued, never disagreed, we like all the same things. I learned so much from him, but I wish I could erase it all. It’s just too painful, I can’t bear it. I guess what it comes down to, is that he didn’t love me the way I loved him, or he might have let it continue for longer… I suppose it’s better that he didn’t. I don’t need to forgive him. I love him.

By: Jess

Jess — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:07:14 +0000

I dont know how to forgive that stupid idiot who almost took my dog

By: jgd

jgd — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:05:12 +0000

advice please….after my r,ship ended a lot went unsaid, i felt we had to have some time to calm down b4 we met up to talk about things, we still loved each other very much but she has met someone else i have tried to contact her via txt,s but she won,t reply should i continue to contact her or leave it, even though i still love her

By: Dani

Dani — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:44:00 +0000

I tried to forgive. Thing is, when the one you forgive violates your boundaries again and again, forgiveness wears off and at some point doesn’t seem to be an option any more. I mean, I can accept that he is together with that other woman and he has a baby, really – Basically he quit me for her and ‘accidentally’ made a baby with her 8 weeks later. There were good reasons, I did not want that with him – I can accept my choices, though it hurts that he found a substitute THAT easily. I even forgave him trying to get sexual with me again, NOT telling me that his girlfriend was 3 months pregnant. But his repeated reaching out for contact, either telling me how much he thinks of our good times and misses them or telling me how much he enjoys his son. And any request from my side for more distance is just ignored. Hard to stick with forgieness, when there is continously so ZERO empathy from the other side.

By: ameliechance

ameliechance — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:54:46 +0000

Smurff,

Thank you for your heartfelt comment. There is always a time when forgiveness makes sense in one’s life and it is definitely not an easy task to forgive someone who has hurt you. In the past, I have felt it impossible to forgive someone who had done so much conscious damage to my life; however, I eventually came to realize that not forgiving my ex was causing me more pain and taking me further from my goal of healing my heart. My life began to personify the words of Buddha – “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” I was getting burned and I had to let go.

The post above is simply a suggestion that forgiveness can be a choice that we make. The exercises are merely meant to provide a practical way to begin the forgiveness process. All that being said, only you will know if/when it makes sense for you to try to offer forgiveness to all involved. Remember what you have already survived – you are strong.

Thank you for sharing. Love & Light, Amelie.