Type of Relationship: Marriage

Status: Over it & Thriving!!!

When I was 31, I fell unexpectedly and madly in love with him. It was a whirlwind romance and after 6 months he wanted me to move in with him. I resisted – it would have required me to change my whole life to suit his life. He had a young son from a previous marriage and was unable to move between us, so I had to do the moving. After 3 years, I finally moved in with him and his son, who was with us part-time.

I was devoted and in love. Although we had our issues, the sex was good and our life was on it’s way. About 6 years into the relationship, we decided to celebrate our commitment with a marriage-style commitment ceremony. We wrote our vows and I asked that he do only one thing for me – promise to tell me if he ever fell in love with someone else. I promised that if I ever had to let him go, I would do so with love. I just never thought it would actually happen.

One day, to my horror, I found out that he was corresponding with a 17-year old foreign girl he had met on a trip! I was devastated. He was 53 at the time. I was 42. I found emails where he told her to go to the consulate and get her papers to leave. There were notes of what they would name their children and all. I just couldn’t believe it. I finally confronted him and told him if he left to see her again that he would be doing so for good. He didn’t leave.

Days later I told him to go to her. I felt it was the only way to have the younger-woman spell broken. He got on a plane and left to be with her for 2 weeks. I was a mess. I didn’t eat or sleep and felt like my life was over.

He came home to explain that she was too young and only wanted his money. I thought, okay, he has seen the light. So we went on with our lives and planned a summer vacation, but things were rocky. I remember so clearly that one day after a hike to a beautiful lake, he asked me to take his picture. I grabbed the camera and looked at him and said “I’m not your girl am I?” He replied in a stark, honest moment, “No.”

I knew it was over. I walked behind him back to camp and felt about as lonely as one could ever feel.

Two days later I discovered another email where he told her he was coming soon to marry her. I confronted him and said, ” If you love her go”. He went home and I flew to a friend’s house in another state. The morning I left to fly away I stopped him and looked at him in the face and told him that “I always loved him and that he would never see me again.”

I never did. He flew to our home, packed his things, and flew to her and married her. I came home to a gutted house and a small check for rent and stuff. I thought I would die.

I was left with our home (that I paid for). Him and his son, whom I cared for for 8 years, were simply gone. I laid on the couch in tears for 2 solid months. I lost 30 pounds. I was devastated. I finally got myself up and got a job – I had to. But every day at lunch I would leave to go cry. There was no day or night I didn’t end up in tears. I finally had to sell the house. I was 42 years old. Honestly, I thought I would just die of grief.

What I have to say now is that I am over it! It’s behind me and has been for about a year. I cannot believe I can say this, but it’s true. He is still married to the girl and has a young son with her. I hear about them from folks I run into on occassion and I can say, “I hope he’s happy.”

I hope something came from the blowing up of our lives. I am well. I have moved, date a lot, look better than I ever did and have gotten on with it. So, if anyone thinks they won’t survive or that they are too old to get back out there I say STOP IT! It’s not true. I lost a husband, a son, a house, my job -my life, and I survived. I am not stronger than anyone else – it’s just that time got me out of it. I hope this helps you all see there is life after your ex – I promise. Just put one foot in front of the other every day. Just take one day at a time.

Type of Relationship: Serious Dating

Status: Broken by Distance

He pursued me relentlessly. I agreed to go out with him and fell hard and fast. That had never happened to me before. Since every other boyfriend fell hard and fast for me I expected the same. He didn’t.

It took months for him to admit we were in a relationship. We broke up once. When kept in touch and he apologized and wanted another chance. I gave it to him. He had fallen in love, I’m sure. Absence makes the heart grow…! He was great. We were great. I had visions of our family. He teased about springing a ring on me. Then I got a job offer in Vancouver (we were both living in London, Ontario at the time). He fully supported me, but did not commit to moving. He said he wanted to make sure I liked it before he considered uprooting himself. Well, I did like it. A lot.

I started looking for jobs for him; however, he wasn’t that interested in applying for them. Then, he suddenly received a call from a job I had lovingly pushed him to apply for when I thought I was staying in London. It was an excellent opportunity. He interviewed and was offered the job. I was still supportive. I wanted to be with him long distance rather than not at all. He agreed.

After my first visit home things suddenly changed. I could tell he had withdrawn from me and was very insensitive to my feelings and needs. He ignored me. I had read that sometimes guys need to withdraw to figure out what is important to them, so I tried to give him space.

When he exited his cave a few days later, he ended it. He wouldn’t even try – didn’t want to try. He just said, “I will never move there and if you stay this won’t work.” So I offer to move back. He responds that he doesn’t want to be “that guy” who makes someone make sacrifices for him. So I was shocked.

There were no warning signs that a break up was imminent. We were having difficulties  adjusting to the long distance type of relationship (especially with time change), but I never thought it would lead so quickly to a break up. This all happened a week before he was supposed to visit me for TEN DAYS. All my new friends were so excited to meet him. I was embarrassed when I had to tell them he wasn’t coming. It also happened to be the week of my birthday.

It’s also difficult living in a new city going through this without my support network. That makes the break up even harder to handle. My adjustment period (new job, new city) wasn’t over and now I have even more adjustments on my plate.

I am just trying to remember that the weaknesses in our relationship were magnified by the distance. If it wasn’t going to last, this was the quickest way to find out. I could have wasted another year or two or ?? and been in the same place.

I am secretly hoping that he flies out here and asks forgiveness, so that I can tell him to turn around. I don’t think I could take him back because my heart would never trust him again knowing how much pain he is capable of causing. I also know I won’t move on until I admit it’s over.

Before I read your newest article on going cold turkey, I had already completely cut off communication. I feel like he doesn’t deserve to hear how I am doing or feeling anymore. It only causes more pain and keeps the wound open. I would highly recommend this to all recent ‘victims!’

Type of Relationship: Marriage

Status: Left for an ex

Four weeks ago my husband came home from what was supposed to have been a week away with his daughter and her children. He arrived unexpectedly the night before he was due home and came to the door and said, “M, we need to talk.”

I was really scared as he had a strange look on his face and initially thought that something had happened to his daughter or his grandkids. But he stood near me and when I sat down he said, “M, I’m not happy and do you remember we said that if either of us was not happy then we should tell the other?”

I said something like, “Ok, so what do you want to do about it?”

He then said that he had been on his way back home that evening and had suddenly realized that he just did not want to come home. I just kept staring at him because I was so shocked. He said he was going away for a while and that he didn’t want to hurt me but it was something he needed to do.

To cut a long story short, he has not returned. He has now told me our marriage is over and when I said I still loved him he said that was the problem – he didn’t. This was like a knife in my gut!

I did a bit of digging and found his mobile phone bills. After my detective work, I confronted him with the fact that he has been in almost daily contact (one time even on our anniversary a few weeks ago!) to his ex wife. She had actually broken his heart 13 years ago when he found out she had been having an affair for two years previous to their divorce. Two years later we met, fell in love, and got married.

I have children – now 15, 17 and 23. Of course he came into my family and had to accept them and that was part of the problem as he has now explained. My children are difficult, no doubt about it. He has two children in their 30′s now with kids of their own.

I asked him why he had to go and he said that he doesn’t know exactly, that it’s many things: my kids, not getting enough attention, my health (which has been bad the last couple of years for sure). He said that him not being happy was the main reason he couldn’t stay.

He’s seemed ok in the recent past, maybe a bit quiet. Lately when I asked him if he was ok he would just say, “I’m tired, that’s all.” I told him that the biggest mistake he made was contacting his ex (for whatever reason that started up again!!) and confiding in her. I’m guessing that she offered him a shoulder when he needed to vent, but he should have confided in me if he wasn’t happy. That really hurts.

It has been nearly six weeks now and each day is harder than the last – not easier. I feel him around my head all the time. He is on my mind as I go to sleep and the first thing that comes in my mind when I wake up. During the night I dream about him and wake up crying. I miss him, I miss him, I miss him. I did say to him that I would never have him back because of the betrayal.

If he had just left me I could have coped with that, but to have been contacting his ex for 6 months – it’s unforgivable!! This is what saddens me the most – the lying, that is. That’s why I grieve the most – I am grieving the loss of a man I used to love. He is gone and that is why I am so full of hurt. At nearly 50, I can’t imagine ever finding anyone that I could love again – he was/is my everything and now I have no self esteem. She is better looking than me, slimmer than me, smarter than me and he loved her before me – how could I have ever competed with her?

Actually, I hate her for luring him back. Just because her man ditched her and went back to his wife she decided to bait my husband back to her. I hate predatory women. He used to say he did too and he used to say that he hated men who did ‘the dirty’ on their women. Now he is one of those men.

Type of Relationship: Serious Dating

Status: Hoping to love again

It all started my Sophomore year of college. I had other relationships prior to this one, but when they ended I cried for a week, forgot about the guy, and moved on. This story ends differently.

Brian and I met at a party on Febuary 18th 2006 (it drives me crazy that I remember all these details). The night we met was literally a fairy tale. I remember the ridiculous butterflies, the intense nerves and after talking all night and him finally putting his hand on my neck I had fallen in love. It only took hours for me to feel the rush of falling in love.

The next few weeks were spent together. I barely saw my friends, and barely did homework or focused on the many clubs I was involved in. Brian consumed me. However, over the next few months the red flags started to flare. Brian hated his mother for divorcing his father and marrying someone he didn’t like. Brian was the victim of a split family, each valuing different things – his mother valued being down to earth, family, hard work, and not spoiling her kids. Brian’s father and his new wife valued material things, money, and all things (in my opinion) that should be of little value when raising children. As a result, Brian always thought he had a rough childhood when in reality he was just a brat who couldn’t appreciate anything-including me it turned out.

We dated for 3 years and I still have the love songs he wrote me, the cards he sent me, the memories, the pictures. Things went sour Senior year when Brian decided our relationship didn’t matter anymore- that his friends were all important and I was second rate. I should have seen the signs but I ignored them – perfect example of freewill vs. fate.

I loved him more than I have ever loved another human being. He broke up with me without notice or reason, claiming we were too young to be so serious and then found a new girlfriend 2 weeks later, with whom he is still with. I am in so much pain and it’s been almost a year. I don’t miss him anymore, but I miss the Brian I fell in love with 2 years ago, not the one that he is now. I have dated other people but nothing compares to the feelings I had. I hope that I am lucky enough to get a second chance.

Type of Relationship: Dating

Status: Left with no explanation

My ex and I separated in 2002. We divorced in 2004. Since then, I had not been in a relationship and I admit most of it was due to fear. I have met some people, had casual affairs but no one I really trusted my heart to. Then one day, I got a call. It was from a man I grew up with. We were really close. In fact, we grew up like cousins. He always expressed a fondness towards me, but as a young girl and in the beginning, I ran from his pursuit. His Dad and my Mother are good friends so I’d always get updates from his father on his affections towards me. I had not seen or spoken to him in over 20 years and out of the blue, he contacts me. We start talking like close family friends at first. We made plans to see one another. Although, we never discussed a relationship in the beginning, our words indicated a more than family type relationship.

As the time drew near, he expressed his love for me. We spoke almost every day. He shared dreams with me…. talked about planning a trip…how we would react when we saw each other. It was so romantic and so sweet that I became wrapped up in his very voice. He told me he couldn’t wait to have me lay my head on his chest while he assured me that everything was going to be alright. I was afraid at first so I told him on voicemail not to call me anymore. He was so sweet. He told me he was upset about the voicemail message, but he wanted to be with me.  From that point, I promised myself I would not let fear govern our relationship. I relaxed. Before I knew it, I was doing a lot of the calling.

The closer we got to the date to see him, the more excitement he expressed. We made plans to watch a basketball game when he arrived. We made plans to see a lot of places. The week before he was to arrive, calls from him slowed. I expressed my concern and told him I would like to hear from him even when he has a busy weekend. The weekend before his arrival, he called twice. We spoke again on the Monday before. After that he sent me text messages giving me updates on his arrival. I wondered about the absence of calls so I called him and got voicemail.

Well, as it turns out. I was speaking to my mother on the phone the morning of his arrival and she told me she happened to call his Dad and he was in fact in our home town. I was shocked, puzzled and sad but thought maybe he could not change his flight and decided to drive.

I truly thought this person cared for me. I would not have guessed in a million years that he would stand me up. I cried most of the night and resumed in the am. By noon on Saturday, I was able to pull myself together long enough to give him a call. He did not return my call or answer.

Finally I saw him. He begged me to give him another chance to make it up to me. I did not give him an immediate answer.

I have not spoken to him since. No emails, no text messages, no phone calls. I have not called him either and I am truly hurt. I truly believed that he cared. I have gone over the conversations in my mind and they seemed so genuine. I could not detect any lies. Besides that… our history. He was always protective of me when we were children. He was more protective than my brother. I can’t believe he just stopped calling. I am now faced with getting over what could have been.

Wow, putting this on paper really helps. I not crying any more.

Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel. Your partner has just dealt a dagger to your soul, and you are worried you will never recover. He or she was your best friend, your lover; perhaps they occupied a part of your home, most certainly a piece of your heart. And now, the rug has been pulled out from under you. Without them, I am nothing, you fear. You are filled with sorrow—on the fringe of despair. You have broken up.

Dramatic? If you’ve ever suffered from a broken heart, you recognize the grief described is quite real. Trauma endured from a heartbreak can pervade every aspect of one’s life rendering some a prisoner to their own pain. Time irrefutably helps the healing process, yet thankfully, time is neither the only, nor most powerful healing agent.

“I knew I was falling completely, totally, hopelessly head-over-heels for this man. Maybe I couldn’t accept that right then. I know I was scared of being hurt again; jaded by one too many loves-gone-wrong. So, I kept my mouth shut.” Read full story

“About 6 years into the relationship, we decided to celebrate our commitment with a marriage-style commitment ceremony. We wrote our vows and I asked that he do only one thing for me – promise to tell me if he ever fell in love with someone else. I promised that if I ever had to let him go, I would do so with love. I just never thought it would actually happen.” Read full story

“We dated for 3 years and I still have the love songs he wrote me, the cards he sent me, the memories, the pictures. Things went sour Senior year when Brian decided our relationship didn’t matter anymore- that his friends were all important and I was second rate. I should have seen the signs but I ignored them – perfect example of freewill vs. fate.” Read full story

See All Stories

At Heal my Broken Heart, we offer a collection of hope: real stories shared from real people. These stories chronicle the full spectrum of the break-up process including those who have completely healed to those fresh in the midst of heartbreak. And though each journey is unique, you will find common and relatable elements offering comfort that you are not alone in your suffering, providing practical techniques to accelerate your recovery, and a clearer path to making your heart whole again.

Type of Relationship: Living Together

Status: Struggling

I guess it all started after a very traumatic experience. I had emergency surgery in July of 2003. I was informed of the possibilities of death caused by the surgery. When I came through okay, I had a whole new outlook on life. I was going to live life with a passion, and that was exactly what I did.

That August I met Mr. C. He was visiting from the U.S. and would only be here two weeks. (Although he did ultimately extend his stay). The sparks between us were enough to ignite a long burning fire. He actually knew how to treat a lady, most of the time, except when he drank and he definitely had a problem. Nonetheless he was an incredible man, full of passion and love.  He wrote incredible poetry.

We said right from the get-go, NO FALLING! This was a summer fling, only we both fell, and we fell hard. I was the first to see it. It was so very sad when he left.  In fact I think I asked him a dozen times to stay. He realized it when he got home and missed me like crazy.

I didn’t call although I wanted to. Finally after two weeks he called me, and that`s when he admitted his feelings. We would talk on the phone for hours sometimes nine or ten. The connection was incredible, we never ran out of things to talk about. The person I loved was miles away and all we had was the telephone.  It built such a deep and honest relationship.

Mr.C. came down for Christmas, and the holidays that year were ones I will never forget. Again we spent an amazing couple of weeks together, until he had to return home and my heart broke yet again.

Shortly after he left I met by chance J.  He was sweet and quiet, and had the most unbelievable blue eyes. You just get lost in them. So I asked Mr.C. if he was ever going to move here.  My heart was broken by the answer. I knew I had to move on. I moved in the direction of J (in part to help me get on with things).

Little did I know that a year later J and I would be about to make news: we were pregnant! In Nov 2005 we had our baby. About two years after that we had another. So now we have a family.

The whole time, in the back of my heart I was empty, alone and quite lonely. I had constant longing for what I had shared with Mr.C. I wanted to feel that fire again, that passion. Although I know J loves me, he is very shy and can barely show his feelings.  The passion between us burned out shortly after the second baby.

J has never really been an open person with his feelings and I had accepted that. As time went on, I started to get more and more lonely. I began to feel empty and under-appreciated. We had two kids, a home, and a couple of pets. By this point I am working three jobs to keep us afloat while J thinks its okay to sleep till noon. I take care of the kids and the rest of the house, while. J sits around.

Finally one day I emailed Mr. C. and with just one email every feeling I had buried way back in my heart came bouncing to the forefront. I never thought one email could reawaken so many strong feelings. Then we began emailing back and forth.   Nothing inappropriate just confiding in one another. I realized that Mr. C. is truly my soul mate. I started reading some of the old poetry he had written and realized he loved me even more than I thought.

So here I sit with my dilemma. J is my soon-to-be husband and the father of my children, but I feel lonely and lost and completely under-appreciated. On the other hand Mr. C. lives miles away, but made me feel like a queen.  Like a goddess.  Like I was truly loved.

What do you do when you want to give your heart to someone on your wedding day but can’t because a big part of your heart is still with someone else? Don`t get me wrong. I love J, I just wish he was more like Mr. C.  I wish he lived life with passion; and showed more appreciation.

How do I put behind me the life I long to have with Mr. C., so that I can get on with my life with J?

Sincerely,

Lost & Lonely

Type of Relationship: An Affair of the Heart
Status: Providing Inspiration to others

I think a defining moment in one’s life comes the instant we realize what we could have had. Not that it makes us who we are or that we should spend our lives beating ourselves up over it; however, when these moments come, we often find ourselves in shoulda-coulda-woulda land for at least a short period of time.

I had returned to my hometown after what seemed like forever and a day. In reality, I had only been away a year and a half. My marriage had gone south, and having no close ties to anyone in Kentucky, I came home to Missouri to be near my family and start a new life. I was in a state of chaos and confusion – the emotional roller coaster that often accompanies separation and divorce. I had nary a clue as to what I wanted, where I was going, or even who I was at that point. My marriage had soured me on relationships, so I was certainly in no position to get involved, nor was I capable of recognizing what was there.

I met Billy Joe at the town square. He just happened to sit on the bench beside me, and we started chatting. We hit it off and quickly became involved. I thought he was a great guy: sweet, intelligent, straight forward, brutally honest, yet a gentleman. With Billy, what you saw was what you got. I liked everything about him, and thought he was rather cute too. He was a very young looking 30, with smooth skin, long legs, a nice body, and long, shiny brown hair. He was here for work, had come from Arkansas, and I thought I had hit the jackpot with this sweet southern rock charmer.

I knew I was falling completely, totally, hopelessly head-over-heels for this man. Maybe I couldn’t accept that right then. I know I was scared of being hurt again; jaded by one too many loves-gone-wrong. So, I kept my mouth shut. I never told Billy how I felt. Somewhere in my mind, I had convinced myself that this was not a serious relationship; it was more of a fling or friends with benefits kind of thing.

I started seeing other guys. I mean Billy and I were not exactly a couple, so I didn’t think it would matter. The first clue that it was an issue became clear when he saw me with someone else. The look on his face said it all. Still, he never mentioned it and neither did I. We just went on like usual. Eventually, I moved in with someone I did not really even like just because he wanted me too. I still saw Billy when I could, but eventually our meetings were few and far between.

I missed him all the time, but was still afraid to admit how I felt. Eventually, those hidden feelings backfired on me. Billy was planning to go home and came to see me. I was a wreck, unsure of anything in my life. I didn’t really think he loved me, so I was ready to just give up and move on. His last words to me as he left that day were “Who knows? Maybe in a year or so, we’ll be married.” I didn’t know what to say, so I silently watched as he walked away.

Billy knew how to get a hold of me, and for a while, I held onto hope that he would…don’t we all? By now, I had realized my mistake; I knew he loved me and kept asking myself why I had not run after him or left town with him? His failure to communicate in the beginning or to get in touch afterward was heartbreaking. Nevertheless, I could not lay it all on Billy’s shoulders; after all, I hadn’t said a word either.

For a long time, I moped around – depressed, angry, and very frustrated by what I felt as life throwing one more injustice in my direction. Yes, it was a pity party, and I was the honored guest. Two months after he left town, I found out I was pregnant with Billy Joe’s baby. I was joyous but terribly sad as well. I had no idea how to let Billy know and it mattered very little anyway, as our daughter only survived to the fifth month before I lost her.

After the miscarriage, I tried to rebuild my life. I tried to move on from all the heartache and sorrow. I started working more, meeting people, and doing whatever I could to rebuild the happiness I felt I needed and deserved.

A few months later, I ran into a mutual friend who told me Billy had never made it back to Arkansas. He had gone to a bar for his final night here and was killed by a knife-wielding maniac when he tried to break up a fight.

Since then, it has been 6 years. Time has helped ease the pain and has made things easier to deal with. The good memories are there, and I often miss Billy and wonder what if…

I have moved on in life, have remarried, have a family, a career, and have found the happiness I sought.

I found that time does heal the pain, but you have to work at it a bit and look ahead to find that bright light in your life after such pain. I could have sat back, wishing, wanting, and holding on to a past I had no control over. I could have allowed all the grief to swallow me up. Instead, knowing I had to get on with my own life, I made sure to embrace every opportunity to do so. Sure, I still felt pain and sadness, but it helped tremendously to stop and appreciate the small things in life for their simple beauty. Getting out there and living each day the best I could made time pass easily and pain fade over time. Most of all, I learned never to bottle up my thoughts and emotions. It was good to talk; to remember. Eventually, I could celebrate Billy Joe’s life through the good memories and knew that by moving ahead in my own, I was honoring him.

Note: This true story of courage was generously shared by freelance writer & editor, Stephanie Burtis.

Type of Relationship: Complicated

Status: Apart

I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I’ve known 2 months of bliss this summer, I willingly chose that path thinking that it was better to love than not too. Now I hurt.

We met randomly two months ago at a public event, we saw each other and he smiled so I smiled. One hour later we met again, in a restaurant where I was meeting some friends, a place I never go to. So we talked. He ask for my phone number. He called the next day and I agreed to see him that very day. Well, we spent the whole day together and the whole night, breakfast and everything. It was just magical. We saw each other each day after that for five days in a row. He was on holiday and I freelance. We just had so much to say to each other. I woke up one morning thinking that I had met my ideal. He’s intelligent, successful, well traveled, handsome, fun, cooks well, kind, etc… I felt full of gratitude.

Well… I found out a bit later that day, that he was involved with someone else that had been out of town for a while. Actually she had been out since February – to be treated for cancer. As a matter of fact, she’d been treated for the last five years on and off without ever going into full remission. Needless to say, their intimacy has been non existent in the last two years.

He admitted that he just had wanted a one night stand, and was surprised at the way he felt towards me. Nevertheless he wanted to end it, because he had no intention of leaving or hurting his partner and she was coming back two months later. So he did end it…

He then proceeded to contact me everyday and I just ignored him, until a particularly poignant letter arrived. I answered saying that I was very mad at him for manipulating me by withholding the truth in regards to his unavailability, that he had used me.

He then invited me for dinner to make peace. I went. And then it started again the next day. I willingly agreed this time. We had 2 months in front of us and I thought I might as well love and be loved. I’m 48 years old and I’ve been alone for a long time. We had 2 months of pure joy, bliss. We communicate so well together.

But he feels that he has to stay in this relationship because she’s ill, he’s afraid she’ll die if she finds out. Meanwhile they don’t talk, he doesn’t express that he’s unhappy about not having any sexual relationship with her. He’s lying to himself, to her.I told him to seek professional help, and he did.

I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for me.

I have never been with a man that is unavailable. My father left for another woman and it traumatized me. I’ve been cheated on. So I never wanted to do that to another woman. Now I have. For a few moments of love.

She came back this weekend, I was with him the night before and the morning of. We we talking many times a day prior. Now out of respect for her, not at all.

I’m broken, I’m sad, I miss him terribly and at the same time I’m mad at the situation. I’m mad at him for not being honest with her.

Now I just repeat this saying by Florence Scovell Schinn “If he’s mine I can’t lose him. If he’s not, I don’t want him”

I need help.

Type of Relationship: Broken after trauma

Status: Apart after 3 years and 2 beautiful boys

I met her and we immediately hit it off…

We met one night through a friend and it took only a few days for both of us to really feel comfortable with one another. After 1 week of knowing each other, we moved in together. All was great. In fact, for the first 2 years we inseparable. The only time we were apart was when we had to work. Even then, we sent anywhere from 100 to 150 text messages telling each other how perfect we were together and that this relationship would never end.

As happy as we were, the road that the future would lead us down was totally different than the one we had envisioned.

She suffered a huge loss when your younger brother suddenly passed away. I was with her through it all. Then after 3 months of his passing, she told me she had problems and told me she was leaving. I asked her to talk to me, but she shut me out completely and moved out. I was from a small town and I left everything from my past to move in with her. I felt so betrayed.

I love her with all my heart and I honestly felt she was “the one.” Now, I try to stay busy and even moved back to my hometown to be closer to family, but this pain is unbearable. I can’t sleep and I am always thinking of her and my boys. The killer thing is that now when she talks to me she tells me everything that was wrong. She even tells me her family never liked me, but she will always care and love me.

I still love her and I think about her so much that I know in my heart what I want. Unfortunately, some things don’t work out as your heart wants. I have never felt this way for anyone ever before, but I have to keep my head up and as much as all this hurts it has been one of life’s lessons. You have to keep going, Our relationship was unique there was so many special times, now all I can do is keep going for my boys and wish her the best. This will take time, but I have felt that writing your feelings down does work.

I know the road ahead is not going to be easy, but this to shall pass.